Friendship is a precious bond, but how can you be sure that you’ve got a true, solid friend in your life? Well, psychology can provide some answers.
There are specific signs, seven to be precise, that psychologists have identified as indicators of a truly good friend. These signs are not just superficial characteristics, but deeply rooted traits that embody the essence of a genuine friendship.
In the following sections, we will delve into these seven signs. You’ll get to understand each one and perhaps even recognize them in your own friendships. This is not just about identifying these signs, but also appreciating the value they bring to your relationships.
1) Unconditional support
A hallmark of a truly good friend, according to psychology, is their ability to provide unconditional support. This means they’re there for you in good times and bad, rain or shine.
Unlike fair-weather friends who are only around during the good times, a real friend sticks by you no matter what. They’re not just present when you’re celebrating your successes, but also when you’re dealing with difficulties or heartbreak.
Their support doesn’t come with conditions or expectations. They don’t support you because they want something in return, but because they genuinely care about your wellbeing.
Furthermore, their support isn’t just verbal. They don’t simply say they’re there for you; they show it through their actions. This could be anything from lending a listening ear when you need to vent to being a shoulder to cry on during tough times.
2) Honest feedback
Another sign of a very good friend is their willingness to provide honest feedback. This doesn’t mean they are blunt or hurtful, but rather they have the courage to tell you the truth when it’s needed.
A good friend understands your strengths and weaknesses. They are able to provide you with constructive criticism to help you grow and improve. They won’t shy away from telling you things that might be difficult to hear, but they do so out of care and concern for your best interests.
Honest feedback also extends to their ability to acknowledge and appreciate your achievements. They are not envious or competitive but genuinely happy about your successes. They will praise you when it’s due, reinforcing your positive actions and behaviors.
3) Mutual respect
Respect is a fundamental element in any relationship, and it’s no different in friendships. If your friend respects you and your decisions, it’s a sign they are truly good friends.
A friend who respects you understands and values your individuality. They know that you have your own thoughts, feelings, and opinions, and they respect these differences. They don’t try to change you or mold you into their idea of who you should be. Instead, they appreciate you for who you are.
A friend who respects you also respects your boundaries. They understand that everyone has personal limits and they are careful not to overstep yours. This could be anything from respecting your time, your personal space, or even your need for solitude at times.
4) Trustworthiness
Trust is the bedrock of any strong friendship. If you can trust your friend implicitly, it’s a clear sign that they are a very good friend.
A trustworthy friend is someone who keeps your secrets safe. They don’t share your private matters with others without permission. They understand the significance of trust and strive hard to maintain it.
Trust in a friendship also means that you can rely on this person. You know they will be there when you need them, that they will follow through on their promises, and won’t let you down intentionally.
Moreover, a trustworthy friend is one who is honest with you. They tell you the truth, even when it’s hard because they value the trust within your friendship more than just telling you what you might want to hear.
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5) Emotional availability
A very good friend is emotionally available. This means they are there to share in your joys and sorrows, and they’re not afraid to open up about their own feelings too.
An emotionally available friend is one who is empathetic. They can understand and share your feelings. They don’t dismiss or minimize your emotions, instead, they validate your feelings and provide comfort.
This kind of friend is also open about their own emotions. They trust you enough to share their feelings, making the friendship a two-way street. They don’t keep emotional walls up, but they allow you into their world.
An emotionally available friend is a good listener. They are willing to give you their time and attention, listening to your concerns or joys without judgment or interruption.
6) Shared values
Having shared values is a significant sign of a very good friend. While it’s not necessary to agree on everything, having common ground on fundamental beliefs and principles strengthens the bond of friendship.
Your friend should respect your values, even if they don’t always align with their own. They understand what matters to you and why, and they honor those values in the way they treat you and interact with you.
Shared values can range from moral principles, like honesty and integrity, to lifestyle choices, like fitness or environmental conservation. It can also extend to broader worldviews and philosophies on life.
7) Reciprocity
The final sign of a very good friend, according to psychology, is the element of reciprocity. This means that the give-and-take in your friendship is balanced.
A reciprocal friend is willing to give as much as they receive. This doesn’t necessarily mean they keep a tally of who does what, but rather they make an effort to ensure that the relationship is mutually beneficial.
This balance can appear in different forms – from emotional support, time spent together, and understanding during tough times, to sharing joys and successes. The key here is the mutual willingness to invest in the friendship and to care for each other’s welfare.
If you have a friend who strives for this balance in your relationship, cherishing the mutual exchange of care and support, then this is a definitive sign of a very good friend.
The impact of good friendship on emotional wellbeing
Friendship is not just about having someone to share good times with. It goes much deeper, impacting our emotional wellbeing in profound ways.
Having a very good friend can bring immense joy and satisfaction into our lives. They provide emotional support, offer valuable feedback, respect us as individuals, can be trusted, are emotionally available, share our values, and maintain a balance of give-and-take in the relationship.
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