If you recognize these 9 signs, you have a tendency to want what you can’t have

Desiring what we can’t have — it’s a feeling we’re all too familiar with, wouldn’t you agree?

It’s like a lure, an irresistible pull towards the forbidden fruit that only seems to grow stronger the more we try to resist it.

But why do we feel this way?

Well, psychology may hold the answers to this peculiar human tendency.

The desire for the unattainable is not just a figment of our imagination, but a real psychological phenomenon.

Now, you might be wondering, “Do I fall into this category?”

In this article, we’re going to delve into this intriguing subject and reveal some clear signs of this tendency.

Let’s dive in!

1) You’re constantly striving for more

Within the sphere of human desires, there’s a peculiar trait that stands out.

It’s this insatiable hunger for more, an unending pursuit of the next big thing.

If you often find yourself in this relentless cycle, it might be a sign of your tendency to want what you can’t have.

But what does this look like, exactly?

Well, it could be the constant need to upgrade — whether it’s your phone, car, or even relationships.

The moment you attain something, the novelty quickly wears off, and you’re already eyeing the next upgrade.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with striving for improvement.

However, when this desire becomes a continuous chase where satisfaction is always just out of reach, it could indicate a deeper psychological pattern.

Does that resonate with you? If yes, then you may just have a tendency to desire what remains elusive.

2) You’re intrigued by the concept of scarcity

Think about it for a moment: why do limited edition items feel so much more appealing?

Well, it has everything to do with a psychological principle known as scarcity.

Scarcity, in simple terms, is the perception that something is in short supply and therefore more valuable.

Psychologists have long studied this phenomenon and found that scarcity can dramatically heighten our desire for an item, even if we don’t need it.

It’s this “fear of missing out” that drives us to want scarce items and experiences.

And if you find yourself frequently drawn to things solely because they are rare or hard to get, you might just be under the influence of the scarcity principle.

In other words, your penchant for wanting what you can’t have could be a direct reflection of this psychological wiring.

3) Yet, abundance doesn’t appeal to you

Interestingly, while scarcity draws you in, abundance might do the exact opposite.

This is a bit counter-intuitive, but stay with me here.

If you’re always striving for the hard-to-get, chances are, things that are easily accessible or widely available don’t pique your interest.

You might view these things as mundane or ordinary.

After all, if everyone can have it, then it’s not special anymore, right?

In essence, it’s not just the scarcity of an item or situation that attracts you, but also the perceived lack of value in abundance.

4) Are your goals often unrealistic?

Ever found yourself setting goals that are, quite frankly, a little too ambitious?

We’re not just talking about aiming high here.

No, this is about consistently setting targets that are nearly impossible to achieve.

Whether it’s wanting to become a billionaire overnight, or expecting to run a marathon with just a week’s training — these are examples of unrealistic goals.

While optimism and ambition are great, there’s a fine line between being ambitious and setting yourself up for disappointment.

Having unrealistic expectations could be an indication that you’re hooked on the thrill of the chase, rather than the achievement itself.

5) You’re easily bored

Boredom, in its essence, is a state of dissatisfaction with what’s currently available.

But did you know that it can also be a clear sign of wanting what you can’t have?

If you’re someone who:

• Constantly craves new experiences
• Loses interest quickly once the novelty wears off
• Feels restless in stable situations

Then it’s possible that you’re seeking the thrill of the unattainable.

These tendencies could be indicative of a deeper lust for the inaccessible, constantly keeping you on your toes for the next big thing.

6) We often romanticize the past

Have you ever found yourself reminiscing about past events or relationships, painting them in a more favorable light than they perhaps deserve?

If so, you’re not alone. I’ve been there, and I’m sure many of us have.

This tendency to romanticize the past is often because it’s something we can no longer have.

It’s out of our reach, and in being so, it becomes more desirable.

We start to forget the negatives and only remember the good times, making it seem far more attractive than our current reality.

Let’s face it, the grass always seems greener on the other side, especially when that ‘other side’ is a time we can no longer return to.

7) You’re drawn to people who are “off-limits”

Imagine this: you’re at a party and there are plenty of interesting, available people to talk to.

But who do you find yourself inexplicably drawn to?

The one person who’s already in a relationship or the one who’s just not that into you.

Sound familiar?

If so, it’s possible that you’re attracted to people who are essentially “off-limits”.

And why is this?

Could it be because they represent another form of the unattainable, adding a layer of allure and excitement?

Ask yourself, would these individuals still hold the same appeal if they were readily available?

8) You have a history of giving up when things get easy

There’s a peculiar pattern I’ve noticed in my own life, and perhaps you can relate.

It’s this: whenever a challenge starts to become too easy, I lose interest.

I remember a time when I was learning to play the guitar. The initial stages were tough, but the challenge kept me engaged.

But the moment I started getting the hang of it, it suddenly lost its appeal.

The thrill of the chase had worn off.

If you’ve experienced something similar, you might be exhibiting another sign of wanting what you can’t have.

You see, when things become easy or predictable, they lose their allure.

The thrill of the chase dissipates and we start seeking out new challenges, new unattainable goals.

In essence, if the quest is no longer difficult, it’s no longer interesting.

9) The most important thing to recognize is your reaction to rejection

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, your reaction to rejection can be a significant indicator of whether you desire what you can’t have.

When faced with rejection, do you find your desire intensifying instead of diminishing?

Rather than accepting the outcome, do you find yourself more determined to attain what was denied?

This can often be seen in situations where rejection only fuels the fire of desire, making the unattainable seem even more attractive.

So, what can we do about it?

Recognizing that you have a tendency to want what you can’t have is the first step in understanding, and potentially changing, this pattern.

But what can we do next? How can we handle this in a healthy way?

Here are a few strategies you could consider:

• Practice mindfulness to stay present and appreciate what you already have.
• Set realistic goals to avoid constant disappointment.
• Seek professional help if this pattern begins to interfere with your life.

In the end, it’s important to remember that it’s perfectly human to desire what we can’t have.

It’s a part of our evolutionary wiring.

However, being aware of it and understanding its roots can help us manage these desires better, leading to healthier relationships with ourselves and others.

As you move forward, consider these signs and strategies.

Reflect on the patterns in your life.

Could this trait be holding you back from appreciating what’s already in your grasp?

Only you can answer this question.

But remember, the power to change lies within you.