There’s a world of difference between a ‘good guy’ and a genuinely upstanding man.
The distinction lies in character. A ‘good guy’ might do the right things, but an upstanding man does them for the right reasons.
An upstanding man isn’t just about holding doors open, or saying the right things. It’s about integrity, respect, and honesty – principles he lives by, not just displays when convenient.
Recognizing an upstanding man isn’t always easy. But there are certain definitive signs that can help you identify if you have one in your life.
Let’s take a look at these 8 signs that indicate you’re dealing with a truly upstanding man.
1) He values honesty
Honesty goes beyond just telling the truth.
An upstanding man understands and appreciates the importance of being honest, not only with others but with himself too.
It’s easy for some people to twist the truth or omit certain details to make themselves look good. But a genuinely upstanding man doesn’t need to rely on such tactics.
He is comfortable with who he is and doesn’t feel the need to embellish or fabricate stories for the sake of impressing others.
His honesty isn’t just about not lying, it’s also about being transparent, genuine and true to his word.
It’s this kind of honesty that forms the foundation of trust in any relationship. It’s a sign that you’re dealing with a man who respects you enough to be open and sincere at all times.
Honesty is about being real with yourself and others around you. If this sign is evident, then you have a genuinely upstanding man in your life.
2) He respects boundaries
In my own personal experience, respect for boundaries has been a clear indicator of an upstanding man.
I remember a time when I was swamped with work and feeling overwhelmed. The man in my life, seeing my stress, offered his support but also understood when I needed space to navigate my workload.
He didn’t pressure me to spend time with him or make me feel guilty for focusing on my work.
Instead, he communicated his understanding and gave me the space I needed, while reassuring me that he was there if I needed anything. This respect for my personal space and understanding of my needs showed me his character in a very real way.
An upstanding man understands and respects your boundaries, whether they’re physical, emotional, or even time-related. He knows that everyone has their own needs and limits, and he doesn’t try to push past them for his own benefit.
If you have a man in your life who respects your boundaries as my man did mine, it’s a sure sign he’s genuinely upstanding.
3) He practices empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s about walking in someone else’s shoes, feeling their pain, and understanding their joys.
Research indicates that higher levels of empathy in individuals correlate with greater relationship satisfaction for both partners.
An upstanding man has the ability to empathize with others, even when he hasn’t had the same experiences. He tries to understand where people are coming from and doesn’t dismiss their feelings or experiences.
He doesn’t just sympathize – he empathizes. He doesn’t just hear – he listens. He doesn’t just see – he understands.
This capacity for empathy is a clear sign of emotional intelligence and a hallmark of an upstanding man. If your man can empathize with you and others, it’s a sure sign you’re dealing with someone truly exceptional.
4) He takes responsibility
Taking responsibility for one’s actions is a mark of an upstanding man.
He doesn’t look to place blame on others when things go wrong. Instead, he acknowledges his mistakes and takes steps to make amends.
He understands that everyone, including himself, is flawed and prone to making mistakes. But what sets him apart is his ability to own up to these mistakes and learn from them.
Whether it’s a minor oversight or a significant error, he doesn’t shy away from admitting his fault. He does not make excuses, nor does he try to deflect the blame onto others.
5) He supports your dreams
A genuinely upstanding man isn’t just there for you; he’s there for your dreams too.
He understands that your aspirations and goals are a part of who you are, and he respects that. He doesn’t belittle your dreams, no matter how big or small they might be.
Instead, he becomes your cheerleader, your confidante, and your partner in pursuing those dreams.
He’s the one celebrating your victories, no matter how small they seem to others. And when you stumble, he’s there offering a hand to help you get back up.
His support doesn’t come with conditions or expectations. He doesn’t make you feel like you owe him anything for it. He does it out of love, respect, and belief in who you are and what you can achieve.
6) He treats everyone with kindness
I’ve always believed that you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat others.
Once, I was at a restaurant with a man who, despite being kind and attentive to me, was rude and dismissive toward the waitstaff. That experience opened my eyes – it made me realize that kindness should not be selective.
An upstanding man treats everyone with kindness, regardless of their status or how they can benefit him. He understands that every individual deserves respect and dignity. He doesn’t look down on people based on their job, wealth, or social ranking.
His kindness isn’t for show; it’s a part of who he is. It’s in the way he talks to the elderly, treats animals, and interacts with strangers. It’s in his actions, not just his words.
7) He values equality
In a world where we’re continuously striving for equality, an upstanding man is one who stands by this principle.
He understands that everyone, regardless of gender, race, or social status, deserves the same rights and opportunities. He doesn’t believe in stereotypes or prejudices and treats everyone as equals.
He applies this belief in his relationships too. He doesn’t see himself as superior or inferior to his partner. Instead, he believes in a partnership where both individuals are equal contributors and decision-makers.
He values your opinion and considers it in all decisions that affect both of you. He doesn’t disregard your thoughts or ideas simply because they differ from his.
8) He leads with integrity
Above all, an upstanding man is defined by his integrity.
Integrity is about consistency in words and actions. It’s about doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.
An upstanding man doesn’t compromise his values for convenience or personal gain. He doesn’t change his beliefs based on who he’s with or where he is. His moral compass remains steadfast.
His actions align with his words, and his words reflect his true thoughts and feelings. He doesn’t make promises he can’t keep, and he doesn’t say things he doesn’t mean.
Integrity is the cornerstone of an upstanding man’s character. If your man embodies this principle, you’re dealing with someone truly exceptional and genuinely upstanding.
Final words: It’s about character
The essence of an upstanding man isn’t defined by his status, wealth, or good looks, but by his character.
Character is the most significant determinant of a person’s actions and reactions, their beliefs and values, their integrity and honesty.
Aristotle once said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
An upstanding man embodies this idea. His actions aren’t single acts of kindness but a consistent pattern that reflects his character.
He doesn’t strive to be upstanding to impress others or for some personal gain. He is upstanding because that’s who he genuinely is at his core.
If you recognize these signs in a man, know that you have someone truly extraordinary in your life. Someone who doesn’t just talk the talk but walks the walk. Someone whose character shines through in every action they take.
Feeling stuck in self-doubt?
Stop trying to fix yourself and start embracing who you are. Join the free 7-day self-discovery challenge and learn how to transform negative emotions into personal growth.
