Happiness can often feel like an elusive chase. Hi there, I’m Lachlan Brown, founder of Hack Spirit and a mindfulness enthusiast. I’ve spent quite a bit of time understanding why we sometimes feel perpetually stuck in a state of unhappiness.
The answer? Bad habits. These are the invisible chains that hold us back from feeling truly happy.
If you’re scratching your head wondering when was the last time you felt genuinely joyful, it’s high time to bid farewell to these nine habits.
Let’s dive right in.
1) Constant comparison
We live in a world where our lives are continually put up against others, thanks to social media. We’re often caught in a cycle of comparing our behind-the-scenes with other’s highlight reels.
This unhealthy habit of comparison is a happiness stealer. It’s like a race with no finish line; there will always be someone who seems to have more.
It’s essential to understand that everyone is on their unique journey. Comparing your path with others will only rob you of the joy of your own achievements and moments.
If you’ve been caught in this cycle, it’s time to say goodbye to the constant comparison. Instead, focus on your journey, celebrate your achievements, and remember that social media is often not a reflection of reality.
Happiness is an inside job, and it starts with appreciating and accepting our own lives without constant comparison.
2) Neglecting self-care
I’ll be the first to admit, as a mindfulness enthusiast and the founder of Hack Spirit, I’ve been guilty of this too. In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to put yourself on the back burner.
I remember a time when I was so engrossed in growing my business that I forgot to take care of myself. I was skipping meals, getting minimal sleep, and barely had any time for physical activity. Unsurprisingly, my happiness took a hit.
It became crystal clear that neglecting self-care was a fast track to unhappiness. Taking care of our physical health is directly connected to our overall well-being and happiness.
If you’re like how I used to be, always putting others or your work before yourself, it’s time to reassess. Start prioritizing self-care – whether that’s eating healthier, getting enough sleep, or setting aside time for physical activity. Trust me; your happiness will thank you for it.
3) Holding on to grudges
Holding on to grudges is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick. It eats away at your peace of mind and happiness. Yet, we often find it so hard to let go and forgive.
A study by the University of Miami found that practicing forgiveness was linked to improved psychological well-being. Participants who practiced forgiveness reported lower levels of depression and higher levels of satisfaction with life.
So, if you want to reclaim your happiness, it’s time to let go of those grudges. Remember, forgiveness isn’t about the other person; it’s about setting yourself free from the burden of resentment. So, let go and watch your happiness bloom.
4) Attachment to material possessions
Buddhism teaches us about the impermanence of life and the importance of non-attachment. This includes our attachment to material possessions. This is not about abandoning all worldly goods, but rather understanding that possessions don’t define us or ensure our happiness.
In fact, there’s a psychological phenomenon known as ‘hedonic adaptation’. It’s the tendency for us to return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite positive or negative changes in life such as a new car or a bigger house.
In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve deeper into how these Buddhist principles can help us lead more fulfilled lives.
If you’re constantly chasing after the next big thing, it might be time to reevaluate. Break away from this habit and learn to find happiness in experiences and relationships, rather than material possessions. By doing so, you’ll discover a sense of contentment that no amount of possessions can provide.
5) Fear of rejection
I remember when I had a great idea for an article. An idea I believed could genuinely help people. But I hesitated to write it. Why? Because I was afraid. Afraid of criticism, afraid of negative comments, and ultimately, afraid of rejection.
This fear of rejection was acting as a roadblock. It was stifling my creativity and preventing me from doing what I loved and believed in.
Fear of rejection can be paralyzing. It hinders us from stepping out of our comfort zone and pursuing what truly makes us happy.
Don’t let the fear of rejection hold you back. Embrace the fact that not everyone will agree with you or appreciate what you do, and that’s okay. The key is to keep moving forward, keep being true to yourself, and pursuing what brings you joy.
6) Chasing after happiness
This one might seem counter-intuitive. After all, isn’t the whole point to pursue happiness?
The truth is, constantly chasing after happiness can actually make us less happy. It’s like trying to catch a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it eludes you.
Happiness isn’t something that can be pursued. It’s often found in the journey, not the destination. It’s about embracing and appreciating the present moment, rather than always looking forward to a future where you might be happy.
Take a step back, stop chasing after happiness as if it’s a destination, and start enjoying the ride. That’s where true happiness lies.
7) Overthinking
Overthinking can be a real joy-killer. It’s like a hamster wheel that just keeps spinning, replaying scenarios, dwelling on past mistakes, or stressing about the future.
This habit not only steals our present moment joy but also prevents us from taking positive action. Overthinking often leads to analysis paralysis, where we’re too caught up in our thoughts to make a decision or move forward.
If you’re an overthinker, it’s time to kick this habit to the curb. Practice mindfulness, focus on what you can control, and take action instead of getting stuck in an endless loop of thoughts.
8) Perfectionism
Ah, perfectionism. It can seem like a positive trait, but it’s often a mask for fear of failure or criticism. I’ve learned this the hard way, especially while building Hack Spirit.
The pursuit of perfection can be exhausting and unending. It holds us back from taking risks, trying new things, and ultimately, from growth.
Recognize that perfection is an illusion. It’s okay to make mistakes, it’s okay to fail. Each stumble is a stepping stone towards growth and learning. So embrace your imperfections, they’re what make you human and uniquely you.
Let go of perfectionism and allow yourself the freedom to be beautifully imperfect. That’s where real happiness lies.
9) Neglecting relationships
At the end of the day, happiness is about connection. It’s about the relationships we cultivate, the love we give and receive.
If you’ve been neglecting your relationships, whether with family, friends, or a significant other, it’s time to change that.
Invest time in your relationships. Be present, listen actively, show empathy and love.
Remember, happiness doesn’t come from possessions or achievements; it comes from meaningful connections with the people we care about.
So, nurture your relationships—they’re the heart of happiness.
Reflecting on happiness
As we journey through life, it’s easy to get caught up in the pursuit of happiness, often forgetting that it’s not a destination but a state of mind.
It’s about understanding and letting go of habits that rob us of our joy. From constant comparison to neglecting self-care, holding onto grudges to the fear of rejection, each of these habits contributes to a state of unhappiness.
Remember, happiness is an inside job. It comes from appreciating the present moment, nurturing our relationships, and embracing our beautifully imperfect selves.
In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve deeper into these principles and how they can guide us towards a more fulfilled life.
As you reflect on your journey towards happiness, consider which of these habits resonate with you. Which ones are holding you back?
Remember, change doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a journey of self-discovery and growth. And each step you take towards letting go of these habits is a step closer to reclaiming your happiness.
So, as you embark on this journey, remember to be patient with yourself. Happiness is not a race; it’s a journey to be savored.
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