If someone is playing mind games with you, they’ll display these 9 manipulative behaviors

There’s a fine line between influence and manipulation, especially when it comes to relationships.

Manipulation, unlike influence, is all about control and often involves deceptive tactics. It’s when someone tries to steer you in a certain direction for their own benefit, without any regard for your choice or well-being.

If you suspect someone is playing mind games with you, there are certain behaviors they’ll display that can be a clear sign of manipulation.

In this article, we’ll explore the 9 most common manipulative behaviors so that you can better recognize and protect yourself from such toxic tactics.

Let’s get started.

1) They use guilt trips

Manipulators are masters at using guilt as a psychological weapon.

Ever been in a situation where you’ve felt guilty for not doing something that someone else wanted? That’s a classic manipulation tactic. They’re playing on your emotions, making you feel as if you’re in the wrong even when you’re not.

Manipulators will often use phrases like “after all I’ve done for you” or “you’d do this if you really cared about me”. These statements are designed to make you feel obligated and guilty, forcing you into submission and getting you to do what they want.

It’s a toxic behavior that can make even the strongest person second guess themselves. Be aware of it, and don’t let anybody use your emotions against you.

2) They twist the truth

Manipulators have a knack for bending the truth to suit their narrative. They’re experts at distorting facts and situations to make themselves look better, or to put you in a bad light.

I remember an old friend of mine who was a pro at this. For instance, we once had a disagreement about something trivial. Instead of resolving it like adults, she twisted the entire situation, making it seem like I was the one overreacting and being unreasonable. She started sharing this twisted version of events with our mutual friends, making me look like the bad guy.

Manipulators like her are adept at playing with words and situations, creating their own version of reality. This can be incredibly confusing and can leave you second-guessing your own memory and judgment. If you find someone always twisting situations or words around, it could be a clear sign they’re manipulating you.

3) They use gaslighting

Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic where the manipulator makes you question your own reality, memory, or perceptions.

The term actually originates from a 1944 film called “Gaslight”, where a man manipulates his wife into believing she’s going insane. He’d dim the gaslights in their home and then deny that the light had changed when his wife pointed it out.

In real life, gaslighting can manifest in various ways. A manipulator might deny they ever said something, even though you’ve clearly heard them say it. Or they might accuse you of overreacting or being too sensitive when you confront them about their behavior.

This constant denial and questioning can make you feel like you’re losing your mind, which is exactly what the manipulator wants you to believe. It’s a powerful tool in their arsenal of manipulation.

4) They play the victim

Playing the victim is another common tactic used by manipulators.

By making themselves out to be the victim, they can deflect blame and manipulate your emotions. This tactic works effectively because it’s natural for us to empathize with someone who appears to be hurt or in trouble.

Here’s the catch – while they present themselves as the victim, they’re usually the ones causing the drama. They twist situations and shift blame, all while maintaining their innocent facade.

If you notice someone constantly playing the victim, especially when they’re confronted about their actions, it could be a sign that they’re manipulating you. It’s crucial to stay objective and not let their emotional theatrics sway your judgment.

5) They use passive-aggressive behavior

Passive-aggressive behavior is a classic sign of manipulation.

This could be in the form of sarcastic comments, intentional mistakes, or deliberate procrastination. The aim is to express dissatisfaction or annoyance without directly confronting the issue.

For example, a manipulator might “forget” to do something you’ve asked for or give backhanded compliments that subtly put you down. They create a veneer of cooperation while subtly undermining you.

Passive-aggressive behavior can be tricky to deal with because it’s often masked as innocent or accidental. However, if you notice a consistent pattern of such behavior, it’s likely not accidental but a deliberate attempt to manipulate.

6) They prey on your insecurities

Manipulators are experts at finding and exploiting your insecurities.

They will dig deep to find what hurts you the most, and then use it against you. This can be incredibly painful, as it feels like they’re attacking your most vulnerable points.

I’ve seen this happen so many times – good, kind-hearted people manipulated by those who knew exactly which buttons to push. It breaks my heart every time.

Everyone has insecurities. But it’s never okay for someone to use them against you. If you notice someone consistently bringing up your insecurities in a negative or hurtful way, they might be trying to manipulate you. Stand firm and don’t let anyone use your vulnerabilities against you.

7) They give you the silent treatment

Ah, the silent treatment – a manipulator’s classic tool for gaining control.

Back in college, I dated someone who would use the silent treatment whenever we had a disagreement. Instead of addressing the issue, they’d shut down completely and ignore me for days. This left me feeling anxious and desperate to fix whatever was wrong, even when I wasn’t at fault.

The silent treatment is a form of emotional manipulation used to punish you or make you feel guilty. It’s a way for the manipulator to avoid taking responsibility while making you feel like you’re in the wrong.

If you find yourself on the receiving end of the silent treatment, it’s important to recognize it for what it is – manipulation. Don’t let it control your emotions or actions.

8) They make everything a competition

Ever noticed someone who always has to one-up you? This could be a sign of manipulative behavior.

Manipulators often turn everything into a competition. They always want to be better, smarter, or more successful than you. The goal is to make you feel inferior and to establish a sense of superiority.

For instance, if you share an achievement, they’ll quickly share something they’ve done that’s ‘bigger’ or ‘better’. Or they might belittle your accomplishments, making them seem less significant.

This constant need to outdo you can be exhausting and demoralizing. If you notice someone constantly turning things into a competition, it could be a sign of manipulation. Remember, everyone’s journey is different, and it’s not a race. Don’t let anyone belittle your achievements or progress.

9) They never take responsibility

One of the most telling signs of a manipulator is their inability to take responsibility for their actions.

Regardless of the situation, manipulators always find a way to shift the blame onto someone else. They’ll come up with excuses or twist the truth to avoid taking the fall.

This behavior is toxic and can lead to a cycle of blame and guilt. If someone consistently refuses to take responsibility for their actions, especially when they’ve clearly done wrong, it’s a clear sign they’re manipulating you.

Remember, everyone makes mistakes. But owning up to them is a sign of maturity and integrity. Don’t let anyone shift their blame onto you.

Final thoughts: Knowledge is power

By recognizing these signs of manipulation, we empower ourselves. We’re able to better protect our emotional health and maintain control over our decisions.

Remember, manipulation is never about you – it’s about the manipulator. It’s their attempt to control and gain power.

So stand firm. Always strive to maintain your self-worth and don’t let anyone manipulate your actions or emotions. You are your own person, with your own values and choices.

Keep this knowledge close to heart, and let it guide you in your interactions. After all, knowledge isn’t just power – it’s protection.