7 habits of people who have zero self-confidence, according to psychology

As a fellow human being, I understand how vital it is that we feel valued, competent, and confident in our own abilities.

Unfortunately, not everyone possesses this self-confidence. In fact, some people have habits that reveal they have zero self-confidence.

These habits often stem from a deep-seated sense of insecurity or inadequacy. Psychology has identified specific behaviors that indicate a lack of self-confidence, and it’s not always as straightforward as you might think.

So let’s dive in and take a closer look at these habits.

1) They constantly self-deprecate

Self-deprecation can sometimes be used as a form of humor. However, for individuals with zero self-confidence, it is often a constant and serious habit.

These individuals are always the first to put themselves down. They might make jokes about their abilities, appearance, or intelligence in a way that seems light-hearted but is actually a reflection of their inner feelings of inadequacy.

You may find them brushing off compliments or achievements as nothing special, or even attributing their success to luck rather than their own effort and abilities. They tend to have a hard time accepting praise and believing in their own worth.

Their constant self-deprecation can be subtle, and you might not notice it initially. But if you pay attention, you’ll start to see a pattern of them undermining their own worth repeatedly.

This habit reveals a deep-seated lack of self-confidence that they may not even be consciously aware of.

2) They avoid making decisions

Another common habit of people with zero self-confidence is their avoidance of decision-making.

They often feel overwhelmed by the potential consequences of making a wrong choice, so they prefer to have others take the lead.

This might seem like they’re just easy-going or indecisive, but it’s more than that. Their reluctance to make decisions is tied to their fear of failure and their belief that they aren’t competent enough to make the right choices.

Whether it’s choosing a place to eat, deciding on a career move, or even making small daily decisions, they often prefer others to decide for them. This way, they can avoid taking responsibility if things go wrong, reinforcing their belief that they aren’t capable or competent.

This avoidance behavior is not just about avoiding responsibility, but also about protecting their fragile self-esteem from further damage.

A simple decision becomes a daunting task when one lacks self-confidence, and this can be seen clearly in their habit of avoiding decision-making.

3) They are often overly helpful

At first glance, being overly helpful might seem like a positive trait. However, for those lacking self-confidence, it’s often a defense mechanism.

People with zero self-confidence often go out of their way to assist others. They’ll go above and beyond, even when it’s not requested or required. This isn’t just them being kind or generous – it’s their way of seeking affirmation and validation from others.

They hope that by being extremely helpful, they’ll be appreciated and valued. This external validation is crucial for them as they struggle to find value within themselves.

So while their willingness to help may seem admirable, it’s often an indication of their struggle with self-worth. It’s their way of compensating for what they perceive as their own inadequacies.

4) They constantly apologize

Apologies are important in life, but for those with zero self-confidence, saying “I’m sorry” becomes a reflex, even when it’s not necessary.

They apologize for the smallest things – for speaking, for taking up space, for expressing an opinion, or even for just existing. It’s as if they see themselves as a constant inconvenience to others.

This constant need to apologize stems from their fear of offending people or being disliked. They’re so worried about upsetting others or coming off as intrusive that they feel the need to apologize for everything they do.

In their eyes, they’re always in the wrong, always the problem, and always at fault. It’s a heartbreaking habit that reveals their inner struggle with self-worth and acceptance.

5) They struggle with eye contact

Making eye contact might seem like a small, insignificant thing, but for people with zero self-confidence, it can be a real struggle. This isn’t because they’re rude or disinterested. It comes from a place of deep discomfort and fear of judgement.

They often avoid eye contact because they’re afraid of what others might see in their eyes. The possibility of someone seeing their insecurities or judging them is too overwhelming.

It takes courage to look someone in the eye, and for those who lack self-confidence, that courage often feels out of reach. But remember, this habit is not a reflection of their character or ability to connect with others, but a manifestation of their inner struggle with self-confidence.

It’s crucial to approach this habit with kindness and understanding, and remember that everyone moves at their own pace when it comes to building confidence.

6) They are perfectionists

Perfectionism is something many of us can relate to, and it’s especially prevalent in those with zero self-confidence.

They often set impossibly high standards for themselves and are never satisfied with their performance.

Whether it’s a work project, a hobby, or even their appearance, they constantly strive for perfection. Even the smallest error or imperfection can lead to feelings of failure and disappointment.

This constant striving for perfection isn’t about being the best, but rather avoiding criticism and negative judgements. They believe that if they can just be perfect, they’ll finally be enough.

But perfection is an illusion, and this habit only serves to reinforce their feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. It’s a relatable yet damaging habit that those with low self-confidence often struggle with.

7) They constantly compare themselves to others

Let’s face it, we’ve all fallen into the comparison trap at some point. But for those with zero self-confidence, it’s not just an occasional slip-up – it’s a constant habit.

They’re always measuring their accomplishments, looks, and lives against those of others. They see others’ successes as a reflection of their own failures. They can’t help but feel they’re always falling short, always lagging behind.

But here’s the hard truth: this constant comparison is like a poison to their self-confidence. It’s an unfair and unproductive game where they always end up losing.

It’s time to face it head-on – no one’s life is as perfect as it appears, and everyone has their own struggles and challenges.

It’s high time to stop this comparison insanity and start focusing on their own journey, their own progress, and their own unique strengths.

Final thoughts

If you’ve recognized several of these habits in yourself or someone you know, it’s important to remember that change is possible.

Psychologist and author Dr. Robert L. Leahy once said, “Confidence is not a belief that you are better than others, but a realization that your worth is independent of what others think.”

Self-confidence comes from respecting and valifying our own thoughts, feelings, and abilities, rather than seeking external validation. It’s about acknowledging our worth and potential, even when we make mistakes or face criticism.

Remember, this article isn’t meant to diagnose or label anyone. Instead, it’s meant to shine a light on habits often associated with low self-confidence. Recognizing these habits in ourselves or others is the first step toward understanding and improvement.

As you reflect on these points, ask yourself: How can I cultivate more self-confidence? What steps can I take to value myself more?

It’s a journey worth embarking on, because everyone deserves to feel confident and valued.

Feeling good about who we are, independent of what we do or what others think of us, is something we all deserve. It’s a journey, but it’s one worth taking.

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Picture of Lucas Graham

Lucas Graham

Lucas Graham, based in Auckland, writes about the psychology behind everyday decisions and life choices. His perspective is grounded in the belief that understanding oneself is the key to better decision-making. Lucas’s articles are a mix of personal anecdotes and observations, offering readers relatable and down-to-earth advice.

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