We’ve all encountered them: people who try a little too hard to be liked by everyone. It can be awkward, it can be uncomfortable, and yes, even a little cringey.
If you’re like me, you might wonder why they behave this way, and what triggers this desperate need for approval.
Psychology has some answers.
You see, these behaviors are often a reflection of deep-seated insecurities and fears. And let’s be honest, we’ve all been there at some point.
But here’s the kicker: these behaviors are often more off-putting than endearing.
So, how can we spot these cringey behaviors?
Hang tight, because in this article we’re going to delve into the 9 most common ones. By recognizing them, we can understand better, empathize more, and maybe even help out a friend who’s caught in the approval-seeking cycle. Let’s get started.
1) They over-compliment everyone
In the world of social interactions, compliments are a great way to foster connection and show appreciation.
But, have you ever met someone who just seems to dish out compliments to everyone, all the time, about everything?
If you’re nodding, you’ve encountered one of the classic behaviors of people desperate for approval: excessive complimenting.
However, when these compliments are dished out too frequently and indiscriminately, they tend to lose their value. They can come across as insincere and even manipulative.
Don’t get me wrong: a genuine compliment can make someone’s day.
But when it becomes a tool to gain approval rather than express genuine admiration or gratitude, it crosses into the territory of cringey behavior.
And here’s a truth bomb: this over-complimenting often achieves the opposite effect – it tends to make people uncomfortable and suspicious, rather than earning their liking.
Understanding why we do what we do is the first step towards shifting our behaviors towards more authentic interactions.
2) They’re always mirroring others
Now, let’s talk about mirroring – a fascinating psychological concept.
Essentially, mirroring is when one person subconsciously imitates the gestures, behaviors, or speech patterns of another. It’s a natural part of human interaction and usually signifies rapport or connection.
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But here’s the thing…
In individuals who are desperate for approval, this mirroring tends to be over-the-top. They might start adopting other people’s interests, opinions, or even their style of dressing in an effort to fit in and be liked.
This goes beyond the natural and subtle mirroring that happens in good conversation. Instead, it becomes a blatant attempt to become a carbon copy of someone else.
And it can get pretty cringey.
3) They rarely voice their own opinions
Now, you might wonder how someone who’s always mirroring others handles their own opinions.
Well, here’s where it gets a bit counter-intuitive.
People desperate for approval often shy away from voicing their real thoughts and opinions. They fear that disagreement might lead to disapproval or conflict. Consequently, they choose to remain neutral or agreeable, no matter what the discussion is about.
It’s almost as if they’ve muted their own voice in the pursuit of acceptance.
This doesn’t mean they don’t have their own opinions or thoughts. Quite the contrary, they might have a treasure trove of ideas and perspectives.
However, the fear of disapproval overshadows their confidence to express themselves openly. They would rather agree with everyone else than risk being the odd one out.
While it’s true that conflict isn’t always pleasant, avoiding it completely by suppressing our own viewpoints can be quite cringey and, ultimately, unfulfilling.
4) They’re always available
Ever met someone who’s always, and I mean always, available?
Here’s the thing. Most of us lead busy lives. We have work, family commitments, hobbies, and personal time. So it’s normal to not always be available for every social gathering or event.
But for those desperate to be liked, they’re often readily available, even at the expense of their own priorities or needs.
While it might seem like they’re just really friendly or outgoing, this constant availability can actually be a sign of their desperation for approval.
The cringey part? It can come off as needy or clingy rather than reliable or supportive.
Remember: It’s okay to say no sometimes. It’s okay to prioritize your needs over social obligations. Because at the end of the day, self-care isn’t selfish, it’s necessary. And people tend to respect those who respect their own time and boundaries.
5) They seek validation constantly
Looking for validation is human nature. We all like to feel seen, heard, and appreciated. But there’s a difference between healthy validation and constant approval-seeking.
In the case of people who are desperate to be liked, this difference becomes quite stark. Here are a few behaviors you might notice:
- They often fish for compliments.
- They’re overly sensitive to criticism and take it personally.
- They ask for reassurance about their decisions frequently.
- They tend to measure their worth based on other people’s opinions.
Each of these points is a red flag on its own. Combined, they paint a picture of someone who relies heavily on external validation to feel good about themselves.
It’s cringey because it reveals a lack of self-esteem and confidence. And it’s painful because nobody should have to depend on others to feel worthy.
The truth is, validation should come from within. It’s about acknowledging our own worth, regardless of what anyone else thinks or says.
6) They overshare personal details
I’m sure we’ve all been in a situation where someone starts sharing deeply personal details too soon. It leaves us feeling a bit uncomfortable, right?
Well, this is another behavior often exhibited by people who are desperate to be liked.
On the surface, it might seem like they’re just open and trusting. They believe that by revealing their secrets or personal struggles, they’ll forge a deeper connection.
But let’s pause for a moment.
While sharing personal experiences can indeed help build connections, there’s a fine line between being open and oversharing.
When we share too much too soon, it can make others uncomfortable and create an imbalance in the relationship. It’s like they’re forcing intimacy rather than letting it develop naturally over time.
So, if we’ve ever found ourselves in this position or noticed someone else doing this, it’s a good reminder that building genuine connections takes time. It’s about gradually opening up and allowing others to do the same at their own pace.
7) They rarely say ‘no’
Imagine this scenario: a friend asks you to help them move this weekend. You already have plans, but you don’t want to disappoint them. So what do you do? Do you cancel your plans and help them out?
If this sounds familiar, you might be dealing with one of the most common behaviors of people desperate to be liked: the inability to say ‘no’.
This isn’t about helping a friend in need. It’s about feeling obligated to always say ‘yes’, even when it’s inconvenient or against your wishes.
And why is that?
It’s because they fear that saying ‘no’ might make them seem unfriendly or unhelpful. They worry that it might lead to disapproval or conflict.
The reality is, that boundaries are crucial in all relationships. Being able to say ‘no’ when necessary is a sign of self-respect and honesty. It shows that while you value the relationship, you also value yourself. And that’s something that people genuinely appreciate.
8) They frequently apologize, even when it’s not their fault
Have you ever met someone who apologizes for everything, even things that are clearly not their fault? I have a friend who used to do this all the time.
One day, we were at a café, and a waiter accidentally spilled coffee on our table. Immediately, my friend started apologizing profusely as if he had caused the mishap. It was clear that he had done nothing wrong, yet he felt the need to apologize.
This is another cringey behavior often displayed by people who desperately want to be liked. They frequently say ‘sorry’, even when they’re not at fault.
Why?
Because they believe it’s a way to avoid conflict and keep the peace. They think it makes them seem polite and considerate.
But the truth is, unnecessary apologies can actually diminish their credibility and self-esteem.
It’s essential to understand that apologies are powerful when they’re sincerely meant and rightfully given. But using them as a tool to avoid conflict or seek approval can do more harm than good.
In my friend’s case, he eventually realized this behavior wasn’t helping him build genuine connections. With time, he learned to only apologize when it was truly warranted, and his relationships improved because of it.
9) They’re always trying to impress
And finally, here’s the most telling behavior of people who desperately want to be liked: they’re constantly trying to impress.
Whether it’s flaunting their achievements, name-dropping, or exaggerating their stories, it all boils down to one thing — an incessant need to prove their worth.
It’s as if they believe that others will only like them if they’re successful, interesting, or well-connected.
But let’s be clear: there’s a vast difference between sharing your accomplishments with pride and using them as a tool to seek approval.
The former comes from a place of self-confidence and satisfaction, while the latter stems from insecurity and fear of rejection.
This constant need to impress can be quite cringey because it doesn’t allow for genuine connections to form. After all, relationships are built on authenticity, mutual respect, and shared experiences, not just impressive achievements or connections.
So, if you notice this behavior in someone or catch yourself doing it, remember: You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. You are enough just as you are. And the right people will like you for who you truly are, not just what you’ve accomplished.
And with that, we’ve covered the most common cringey behaviors of people who desperately want everyone to like them.
So, what can we do about it?
After identifying these cringey behaviors, the next logical question is: What can we do about it? Whether it’s about changing our own behaviors or helping someone else, here are a few things to consider:
- Practice self-awareness: Being aware of our own behaviors is the first step towards change.
- Seek professional help: If these behaviors stem from deep-rooted insecurities or fears, consulting a mental health professional could be beneficial.
- Encourage authenticity: Promote a culture of honesty and authenticity in your relationships. Make it clear that it’s okay to disagree or say no.
- Be patient: Changing deep-seated behaviors takes time. Be patient with yourself and others.
Remember: The desire to be liked is not inherently bad. It’s when this desire becomes a desperate need that it can lead to cringey and off-putting behaviors.
So let’s embrace the fact that we can’t please everyone, and that’s okay. Let’s strive for authenticity over approval, connection over validation, and self-respect over popularity.
Because at the end of the day, the person who needs to like you most is you. And when you genuinely like and respect yourself, others will too.
Isn’t that worth striving for?
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