Navigating people isn’t always easy, especially when it comes to identifying those who are truly good or bad.
A person can be all smiles and charm on the surface, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re good at heart.
In fact, there are certain telltale signs that can reveal someone’s true character, even if they seem nice initially.
In this article, I’m going to share with you nine signs that someone might not be as good as they appear to be. Because sometimes, it’s the subtle red flags that reveal the most about a person’s true nature.
1) They’re constantly negative
Positivity and good vibes are often the traits we associate with good people. But what about those who are constantly negative?
Negative individuals can be draining. They can suck the joy out of a room and leave you feeling down and uninspired.
Don’t get me wrong. We all have our bad days, and it’s okay to vent and express our feelings.
But there’s a difference between having a bad day and being consistently negative.
If someone is always complaining, criticizing, or spreading negativity, it’s a clear sign they may not be as good as they seem on the surface.
2) They’re always playing the victim
We all know someone like this – the eternal victim. No matter what happens, they somehow manage to turn it around and make themselves the center of the tragedy.
I recall a former colleague of mine who had a knack for this. It didn’t matter if the printer ran out of ink or if there was traffic on the way to work, it was always a catastrophic event that had specifically targeted them.
It was draining, to say the least. And it made me realize that people who constantly play the victim are often not good people. They refuse to take responsibility for their actions and instead blame others or external circumstances for their problems.
A genuinely good person understands that life is full of ups and downs, and they take responsibility for their actions instead of constantly playing the victim.
3) They lack empathy
Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is a cornerstone of being a good person.
However, some individuals seem to lack this fundamental trait. They struggle to put themselves in other people’s shoes and often dismiss or belittle other’s feelings.
Individuals with high levels of narcissism often lack empathy. It’s as if their inflated self-view leaves little room for considering the feelings and perspectives of others.
If you notice someone regularly dismisses or invalidates your feelings, it could be a warning sign that they’re not as good as they appear on the surface.
4) They’re dishonest
Honesty is a trait we all value and respect. It’s a foundation of trust and understanding in any relationship.
But what if someone consistently lies or bends the truth?
Sure, little white lies are a part of life. We all tell them from time to time to avoid hurting someone’s feelings or to get out of an awkward situation.
However, someone who habitually lies, even about small things, is raising a big red flag. Constant dishonesty can indicate a lack of integrity and respect for others.
5) They’re manipulative
A person who manipulates others is definitely not someone you want in your corner.
Manipulative individuals have a knack for twisting situations and conversations to their benefit. They’re often skilled at making others feel guilty or indebted to them, using these feelings as leverage to get what they want.
One common form of manipulation is gaslighting – making someone question their own reality or sanity. It’s a subtle and destructive form of emotional abuse that can be hard to recognize.
6) They never apologize
We all make mistakes, it’s part of being human. And acknowledging our errors and apologizing is a sign of maturity and respect.
But what about those who never say sorry?
I believe that a person who is unable to apologize, even when they are clearly wrong, shows a lack of empathy and humility. It’s as if their pride or stubbornness prevents them from admitting they were wrong or hurt someone else.
It’s heartbreaking when someone you care about hurts you and refuses to apologize. It can make you question your worth and the value of your feelings.
A genuinely good person understands the power of an apology. They know when to say “I’m sorry” and mean it. If someone can’t do this, it’s a clear sign they’re not as good as they seem.
7) They’re not there for you
A true test of a person’s character comes during times of crisis or need. It’s easy to be around when everything is going well, but a good person sticks around even when things get tough.
I remember a time when I was going through a rough patch and really needed a friend. There was this one person who I thought was my friend, always there during the fun times, always ready for a laugh. But when I needed support, they were nowhere to be found.
That’s when I realized that a genuinely good person is there for you, even when it’s not convenient or fun. They’re there because they care about you, not because of what they can get out of the situation.
If someone is only around during the good times and disappears when you need them most, it might be time to question their true nature.
8) They’re always talking about themselves
We all enjoy a little bit of spotlight and sharing our stories or experiences with others. But there’s a fine line between sharing and being self-absorbed.
A person who constantly talks about themselves, their achievements, or their problems, without showing much interest in others, is a classic sign of self-centeredness.
Genuine conversations are a two-way street. They involve give and take, listening and speaking. A good person understands this balance and shows genuine interest in others.
9) They don’t respect boundaries
One of the most important aspects of any relationship is respect, and that includes respecting boundaries.
A good person understands and respects the personal, emotional, and physical boundaries set by others. They don’t push or cross these boundaries just because they can or because it suits them.
However, someone who consistently disregards your boundaries, whether it’s showing up unannounced, sharing your private information, or making you uncomfortable with their actions, shows a lack of respect for you as an individual.
Not respecting boundaries isn’t just about being rude or insensitive. It’s a clear sign that the person does not value or respect you, and that’s definitely not the trait of a good person.
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