Navigating family dynamics can be a tricky business. They say you can’t choose your family and that’s true. But what if you could choose how much you interact with certain members?
There are some types of family members who may not be the best influences in our lives. Distancing yourself from them doesn’t mean you don’t love them, it just means you’re putting your mental and emotional health first.
In this article, we’re going to discuss eight types of family members you might be better off maintaining some distance from.
Let’s get started.
1) The constant critic
We all have that one family member who seems to have a knack for finding fault in everything. Constructive criticism is one thing, but when it crosses the line into constant negativity, it can be draining.
The constant critic rarely misses an opportunity to point out your flaws or mistakes. They’re always ready with a critique or a negative comment, often disguised as ‘just being honest’.
This kind of behavior can take a toll on your self-esteem and mental health over time. It’s not always easy, but sometimes it’s best to put some distance between you and them.
Distancing yourself doesn’t mean you don’t care about them. It simply means you’re choosing to protect your wellbeing. And that’s okay.
2) The drama king or queen
You know the ones I’m talking about. Those family members who seem to thrive on creating chaos and drama. No family gathering is complete without them stirring up some sort of issue or controversy.
Take my Aunt Millie, for example. At every family event, she would always find some issue to blow out of proportion. She thrived on the attention and the chaos that followed. And for a long time, I found myself getting sucked into her drama.
But with time, I’ve learned that engaging with her dramatic antics is just not worth the emotional energy. I still love Aunt Millie, but I’ve chosen to limit my interactions with her to maintain my own peace of mind.
Sometimes, it’s not about cutting people off completely. It’s about setting boundaries and knowing when to take a step back for your own sanity.
3) The perpetual victim
These family members have mastered the art of playing the victim. They’re always in some sort of crisis or another and they never seem to take any responsibility for their actions.
Interestingly, research has shown that people who constantly play the victim often do so because it allows them to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and to justify their negative behaviors.
While it’s important to show empathy and offer support, especially to family, it’s also crucial to remember that you can’t fix someone who refuses to acknowledge their own role in their problems.
It’s okay to take a step back and prioritize your own mental health. You’re not obliged to get caught up in their drama.
4) The guilt tripper
Guilt is a powerful manipulative tool, and some family members are experts at using it. They know exactly what to say to make you feel guilty for not doing what they want or for making choices that prioritize your own wellbeing.
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The guilt tripper may use phrases like “after all I’ve done for you,” or “you’re being selfish,” to make you second-guess your decisions. This can be incredibly damaging to your self-esteem and mental wellbeing.
Setting boundaries and making choices that are best for your health and happiness is not selfish. It’s necessary. And it’s okay to distance yourself from anyone who tries to make you feel otherwise.
5) The emotionally unavailable
Emotional availability is the ability to share feelings, to be open and vulnerable. But some family members, for various reasons, might be emotionally unavailable.
They might not express their love or they might not provide the emotional support you need during tough times. And it’s hard, because these are the people you expect to be there for you unconditionally.
It’s important to understand that their emotional unavailability isn’t a reflection on you or your worth. Sometimes, for your own emotional wellbeing, it may be necessary to distance yourself and seek support elsewhere.
It’s okay to protect your heart and choose who you share your emotional space with. You deserve love and support – don’t settle for less.
6) The dream squasher
Dreams are precious. They’re the fuel that drives us. But some family members, often without realizing it, can be real dream squashers.
I remember when I first told my Uncle Joe about my dream of becoming a writer. He laughed and told me to get a “real job”. His words really stung and for a while, I doubted myself and my abilities.
But I’ve learned that it’s important not to let anyone, not even family, squash your dreams. You have every right to pursue what makes you happy and fulfilled.
If there’s someone in your family who doesn’t believe in your dreams or constantly brings negativity into your ambitions, it might be best to keep a little distance and surround yourself with positivity instead.
7) The control freak
Control freaks in the family always want things done their way, and they can make life quite stressful. They tend to dominate conversations, make decisions for everyone, and rarely consider other people’s feelings or opinions.
This kind of behavior can be suffocating and can cause a lot of unnecessary tension and conflict within the family. It’s important to remember that you have the right to your own thoughts, feelings, and decisions.
Distancing yourself from controlling family members doesn’t mean you’re refusing to engage with them completely. It just means you’re setting boundaries to protect your independence and peace of mind. It’s okay to say no, and it’s okay to put your foot down when someone tries to control your life.
8) The relentless pessimist
A family member who is a relentless pessimist can drain your energy with their constant negativity. They always seem to see the glass as half-empty and have a knack for bringing down the mood of any gathering.
It’s important to remember that optimism is not just about being happy all the time. It’s about having hope, about believing in possibilities. And it’s crucial for our mental and emotional health.
While it’s good to be there for family members when they’re going through tough times, continuous exposure to their pessimism can start to weigh on your own outlook on life.
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