7 tiny things you don’t realize you’re doing that make other people dislike you, according to psychology

There’s a thin line between being yourself and unknowingly rubbing people the wrong way.

You see, psychology tells us that small habits can sometimes create big impressions. And often, we’re not even aware of these tiny behaviors that might be driving people away.

In this article, we’re going to take a deep dive into those subtle things you might be doing that could be making others dislike you, without you even realizing it.

Let’s get started.

1) Being too negative

Negativity can be like a dark cloud, it’s tangible and can bring down the mood of everyone around you.

Psychology suggests that our brains are wired to react more intensely to negative stimuli. It’s a survival instinct – we’re much quicker to spot a threat than to notice something pleasant. So when you’re consistently negative, people instinctively start to avoid you, even if they don’t consciously realize why.

It’s not about pretending everything is rainbows and unicorns all the time, but rather about finding a balance. Constructive criticism is fine, constant complaining is not.

When you catch yourself leaning towards negativity, try to reframe things in a more positive or at least neutral way. It can make a huge difference in how other people perceive you. It’s a tiny change that could save you from unknowingly driving people away.

2) Over-sharing personal information

We all like to share a bit about ourselves. It’s human nature. It helps us connect with others on a deeper level. But there’s a limit, and crossing that line can make people uncomfortable.

I remember once, early in my career, I was at a networking event. Being an open book, I thought sharing personal stories would help me form connections. So, when I met a potential client, I shared a detailed account of my recent breakup. Instead of bringing us closer, it made the situation awkward and the client quickly excused himself.

It was a wake-up call for me. I realized that there’s a fine line between sharing and over-sharing. Over time, I learned to gauge the situation better and share only what is appropriate, keeping some things private.

Everyone’s comfort level with personal information is different. What might seem like an interesting anecdote to you could be TMI (Too Much Information) for someone else. So it’s always safer to err on the side of caution and gradually reveal more about yourself as the relationship deepens.

3) Constantly Interrupting

We all know how frustrating it can be to be interrupted mid-sentence. But did you know that interrupting others isn’t just annoying, it’s also a sign of disrespect?

Psychologists believe that when we interrupt someone, it sends out a message that we don’t value what they’re saying. It’s as if we’re telling them their views or experiences don’t matter as much as ours.

Interrupting has been linked to a lack of emotional intelligence, as it shows an inability to listen to others and empathize with their point of view.

When you feel the urge to jump in while someone else is speaking, take a pause. Let them finish their thought before you share yours. It’s a small change, but it can make a big difference in how others perceive you.

4) Not maintaining eye contact

Eye contact is a powerful form of non-verbal communication. It shows we’re engaged, interested, and most importantly, that we’re listening.

However, if you’re constantly looking at your phone, scanning the room, or just staring into space while someone is talking to you, it can make the person feel ignored and unappreciated.

Psychology tells us that maintaining good eye contact makes people feel more connected and valued. On the flip side, avoiding eye contact can lead others to perceive you as untrustworthy or disinterested.

The good news is, this is one of the easiest habits to fix. The next time you’re in a conversation, try to consciously maintain eye contact. You’ll be surprised at how much it can improve your interactions.

5) Being too self-focused

There’s this saying I’ve come across: “To be interesting, be interested.” It took me some time to really understand what it meant.

In my early days, I used to dominate conversations, talking about my achievements, my dreams, my life. I thought that by doing so, I was making myself interesting to others. But the reactions I received were contrary to what I expected.

That’s when I realized that being interested in others is what makes you interesting. People love to be heard and acknowledged. Turning the conversation to focus on them, their experiences, their ideas can make them feel valued and appreciated.

It’s not always about you. Remember to ask about them, listen to their stories, show genuine interest in what they have to say. It’s a small shift in focus that can greatly improve your rapport with others.

6) Not respecting personal space

Personal space is an invisible bubble that we all carry around us. It’s our comfort zone, and when someone invades it without consent, it can make us feel uncomfortable or even threatened.

Psychology tells us that the concept of personal space varies from person to person and culture to culture. What might be a comfortable distance for you, could be too close for comfort for someone else.

It’s always a good idea to be mindful of the other person’s body language. If they’re stepping back or leaning away from you, they might be signaling that you’re too close.

Respect for personal space is a fundamental aspect of good social etiquette. So next time you’re interacting with someone, make sure you’re not unknowingly stepping on their invisible boundary.

7) Neglecting to show gratitude

Gratitude is a powerful connector. When we express appreciation, it not only makes the other person feel valued but also increases our own happiness levels. Failing to show gratitude, however, can make others feel unappreciated and taken for granted.

Whether it’s a simple ‘thank you’ for a kind gesture, or acknowledging someone’s hard work, make it a habit to express your gratitude. It’s a small act that can have a big impact on how others perceive you.

Wrapping it up: It’s all about self-awareness

In the grand scheme of things, human behavior is a fascinating puzzle. Our actions, consciously or unconsciously, can influence how others perceive us.

Psychology offers us insights into these subtle behaviors that we might be unknowingly exhibiting. But knowing is just the first step. The real change happens when we take these insights and reflect on our own actions.

Are we interrupting others too often? Do we respect personal space? Are we showing enough gratitude? These are questions worth pondering over.

After all, the journey towards becoming a better version of ourselves begins with self-awareness. It’s a process of fine-tuning our behavior, one tiny habit at a time.

So let’s start today. Let’s take these insights to heart and strive to be more mindful in our interactions. Because, in the end, it’s these small changes that can make a big difference in how the world sees us.