10 things in life you should always keep to yourself, according to psychology

There’s a fine line between sharing and oversharing.

Sometimes, revealing too much about ourselves can put us in a vulnerable position, either emotionally or mentally.

According to psychology, there are certain parts of our lives that we should keep to ourselves. Not because they’re bad or embarrassing, but because they’re personal.

In this article, I’ll share the ten things you should always keep to yourself. And remember, it’s not about secrecy; it’s about preserving your peace and well-being.

Let’s get started.

1) Personal life details

Psychology tells us that our personal life is something we should generally keep to ourselves.

Sure, sharing some aspects of our lives can help establish connections and foster relationships. But diving too deep into personal matters can actually create a sense of discomfort.

It’s also about maintaining a degree of mystery. If we share everything about our lives, there’s nothing left for others to discover. Plus, certain details might not be relevant or appropriate in all contexts.

While it’s healthy and normal to share parts of your life with others, it’s also important to keep some things private. It’s not about hiding or creating walls; it’s about balancing what you reveal and what you keep just for you.

2) Past resentments

We all have our share of past grievances and resentments. It’s a part of being human.

Let me share a personal experience. A few years ago, I had a falling out with a close friend. We had been inseparable since college, but one disagreement led to another, and before we knew it, our friendship had soured.

I was hurt and angry and found myself sharing the story with everyone who would listen. I thought it would make me feel better, but in reality, it only perpetuated my bitterness and made it harder to move on.

Psychology asserts that sharing past resentments does more harm than good. It keeps us stuck in the past instead of allowing us to move forward. Moreover, it can paint a negative picture of us to others.

While it’s tempting to vent about past grievances, it’s healthier to process these feelings privately or with a trusted professional. It’s about letting go rather than holding on to negativity.

3) Financial situation

In many cultures, discussing one’s financial situation is considered taboo. But even beyond cultural norms, psychology suggests there’s a good reason to keep your finances close to your chest.

Research shows that people who discuss their income or financial status tend to experience higher levels of stress and dissatisfaction. This may be because money often becomes a measure of success and self-worth, leading to unhealthy comparisons and competition.

Additionally, sharing your financial situation can lead to others making assumptions about your lifestyle, values, or even character.

Therefore, it’s generally best to keep your financial matters private. This doesn’t mean you can’t seek advice or discuss finances in a general sense; it just means avoiding specific figures and boasting about monetary successes.

4) Family issues

Family is a big part of our lives. We share joys, sorrows, and many life-changing events with them. But when it comes to family issues or conflicts, it’s often best to keep things within the family.

Psychology suggests that sharing family problems can create an uncomfortable dynamic. People might feel awkward or unsure about how to respond, especially if they also know your family members.

On top of that, once you’ve shared these issues, people may form opinions or make judgments about your family members based on what you’ve told them. This can lead to a shift in relationships and potentially create even more tension.

While it’s sometimes necessary to seek advice or vent about family issues, try to do so with a professional counselor or someone who doesn’t have a direct connection to your family. This way, you can get the support you need without involving others in your family’s business.

5) Personal beliefs

We all have our personal beliefs, whether they’re about politics, religion, or social issues. These beliefs shape who we are and how we see the world.

However, psychology suggests that sharing these beliefs can often lead to debates, disagreements, or even conflicts. This is especially true when the beliefs are controversial or differ significantly from those of the people you’re sharing with.

Moreover, people tend to form impressions about others based on their beliefs. So if you share your personal beliefs, you might find that people’s perception of you changes, sometimes not for the better.

This doesn’t mean you should never discuss these topics. However, it’s important to do so with sensitivity and respect, and to consider whether it’s the right time and place. And remember, it’s okay to keep some of your beliefs to yourself. This can often lead to a more peaceful and harmonious social environment.

6) Your aspirations

We all have dreams and aspirations. It’s what keeps us going, what pushes us to strive for something better. But these dreams, these innermost desires, are often best kept close to our hearts.

You see, when you share your dreams with others, you open yourself up to their opinions and judgments. Some may encourage you, but others may doubt you or even try to dissuade you from pursuing your goals.

Psychology tells us that this can be incredibly deflating. It can shake our confidence and make us question our own abilities. And sometimes, it can even lead us to give up on our dreams altogether.

Keep your aspirations tucked away safely within you. Nurture them, believe in them, work towards them. And when the time is right and you’ve achieved what you set out to do, then share your success with the world. Until then, let your dreams be your secret source of motivation and strength.

7) Your fears

I have a fear of heights. It’s not something I talk about often. It’s not because I’m ashamed of it but because I’ve learned that sharing our fears can sometimes give them more power.

Psychology asserts that when we vocalize our fears, we’re essentially reinforcing them. We’re giving them a voice, making them more tangible and real in our minds.

Furthermore, revealing your fears can make you vulnerable to others. They might not understand or empathize, or they could even use these fears against you in some way.

It’s important to acknowledge and confront your fears, but it’s also wise to be selective about who you share them with. Choose someone who is supportive and understanding, like a close friend or a mental health professional. They can provide the support and guidance you need to overcome your fears without making you feel judged or vulnerable.

8) Acts of kindness

Performing acts of kindness can be incredibly fulfilling. It uplifts our spirits and reminds us of the good in the world. But here’s where things get a little tricky.

Psychology suggests that when we share our acts of kindness with others, it can diminish the value of the deed. It can come across as seeking validation or praise rather than an act of genuine goodwill.

Additionally, when we share our good deeds, we shift the focus from the act itself to us as the doer. This can take away from the altruistic nature of the act and potentially make the recipient feel uncomfortable or obligated.

9) Medical issues

Health is a deeply personal matter. Whether it’s a minor ailment or a significant health condition, these are aspects of our lives that we should generally keep private.

Psychology suggests that sharing our health issues can lead to unwanted sympathy or unsolicited advice. It can also alter people’s perception of us, causing them to see us through the lens of our medical condition instead of as individuals.

Moreover, discussing health issues can sometimes make others uncomfortable. Not everyone knows how to react or respond to such information, and it can create awkward situations.

Your health is a personal matter and it’s entirely up to you who you choose to share it with.

10) Your secrets

The very essence of a secret is that it’s meant to be kept, well, secret. These are pieces of information that you’ve chosen to keep hidden for a reason.

Psychology affirms that sharing secrets can lead to a sense of vulnerability and anxiety. Once a secret is out, it’s out for good and you no longer have control over who knows or what they do with that information.

Moreover, sharing your secrets can put a burden on the person you’re sharing with. They might feel obligated to keep your secret, which can strain your relationship with them.

If you have secrets, it’s best to keep them that way. After all, they’re yours and yours alone to hold. It’s not about being dishonest or secretive; it’s about maintaining your privacy and peace of mind.