10 phrases self-centered people use to make everything about them

There’s a stark contrast between having a healthy level of self-esteem and being self-centered.

Being self-centered is all about making everything revolve around you, often without caring for others’ feelings or perspectives. They have a knack for twisting words and situations to make every conversation or situation about themselves.

Here, we’re going to discuss ten phrases that self-centered people often use to command the spotlight.

In this piece, we’re not just shedding light on these phrases but helping you understand the dynamics of their communication.

Let’s get started.

1) “Enough about you, let’s talk about me”

In the world of self-centeredness, shifting focus back to oneself is a common tactic.

This phrase is often used by self-centered individuals to redirect any conversation that doesn’t revolve around them. It could be subtly inserted into a conversation or blatantly used when they feel they’re not getting enough attention.

The idea is simple – if the conversation isn’t about them, it needs to change. This could come at the cost of ignoring someone else’s feelings, experiences, or thoughts.

It’s crucial to recognize this pattern and understand that it’s not just a harmless phrase but an indication of a person’s self-centered communication style. Remember, every conversation doesn’t have to be about one person; it’s meant to be a shared experience.

2) “You wouldn’t understand”

Another phrase often used by self-centered people is “You wouldn’t understand.” From my own experience, I’ve seen this phrase used as a way to dismiss others’ opinions or experiences and shift the focus back onto themselves.

For instance, I remember a time when I was sharing my feelings about a challenging work situation with a friend, expecting empathy or perhaps some advice. But before I could even finish my story, she cut me off and said, “You wouldn’t understand what real stress is like.”

She then proceeded to talk about her own problems, completely disregarding my feelings. What I initially thought was a conversation, turned into a monologue about her life. This phrase not only made me feel invalidated but also highlighted her self-centered nature.

Recognizing such phrases can help us understand when someone is trying to manipulate the conversation and make it all about them.

3) “I know better”

“I know better” is another common phrase used by self-centered individuals. It’s a way to assert dominance and superiority in a conversation, making it all about their knowledge and expertise.

The phrase implies that they believe their perspective or knowledge is superior to others’. In psychology, this behavior is known as the Dunning-Kruger effect. It’s a cognitive bias where people mistakenly assess their cognitive ability as greater than it is.

Despite its seemingly harmless nature, this phrase can stifle healthy conversation and promote a one-sided narrative. So, the next time you hear someone frequently saying “I know better,” be aware that it might be more about them trying to dominate the conversation rather than a genuine sharing of knowledge.

4) “I don’t care what others think”

“I don’t care what others think” is another phrase frequently used by self-centered individuals. It might seem like a statement of confidence at first glance, but it’s often a way to dismiss other people’s opinions and make everything about their views.

While it’s healthy to not let others’ opinions dictate your life, using this phrase as a conversation tool often signals an unwillingness to consider others’ perspectives.

The intent behind this statement is usually not about promoting self-assurance but rather dismissing the validity of others’ thoughts and feelings. So, if you notice someone regularly using this phrase in conversations, it might be a sign that they’re trying to keep the spotlight firmly on themselves.

5) “But what about when I…?”

The phrase “But what about when I…?” is a classic tactic used by self-centered individuals. It’s a tool to shift the focus of a conversation back to them, often used when they feel the attention is drifting away.

For instance, if you’re sharing your experience about a recent vacation or an accomplishment at work, they might quickly interject with a story of their own, starting with “But what about when I…?”

It’s not just about sharing experiences but a way to overshadow your story with theirs. So, keep an eye out for this phrase – it’s a clear sign of someone making the conversation all about them.

6) “No one understands me”

“No one understands me” is a phrase commonly used by self-centered individuals to evoke sympathy and bring the conversation back to their experiences and feelings. It’s a plea for attention, a way to make others focus on their struggle.

While everyone has moments of feeling misunderstood, continuous use of this phrase can be a sign of self-centered behavior. It can make others feel that their experiences and emotions are being sidelined for the sake of focusing on the speaker’s feelings.

Remember, everyone deserves to be heard and understood. A balanced conversation involves empathy and understanding from all sides, not just one.

7) “I’m just being honest”

“I’m just being honest” is a phrase that I’ve noticed self-centered individuals use as an excuse to say hurtful or dismissive things. It’s a way for them to express their thoughts without considering the feelings of others and then justifying it as honesty.

For instance, I once shared a piece of my writing with a friend, hoping for constructive feedback. Instead of providing useful criticism, they simply said, “I didn’t like it. I’m just being honest.” This response left me feeling disheartened and invalidated.

While honesty is important, it should never be used as an excuse to disregard others’ feelings. It’s crucial to recognize when this phrase is being used as a tool to shift the conversation back to the speaker and their opinions without considering others.

8) “I’m the victim here”

“I’m the victim here” is a phrase often used by self-centered people. You might think it’s strange for someone seeking attention to portray themselves as a victim. However, this is actually a clever tactic to shift focus back onto themselves.

By framing themselves as the ‘victim,’ they can turn any conversation into a narrative about their struggles, hardships, or injustices they’ve faced. It’s a way for them to monopolize sympathy and attention, making the conversation revolve around them yet again.

Be aware of this tactic. While it’s important to show empathy, it’s also important to ensure that everyone’s experiences and feelings are being considered in a conversation.

9) “I’m just saying”

“I’m just saying” is another common phrase used by self-centered people to justify their unsolicited opinions or criticisms. It’s a way for them to make their point, often at the expense of others, while downplaying the impact of their words.

This phrase is often used to shrug off responsibility for the potential harm their words may cause. It’s a way of making the conversation about their thoughts and feelings, without considering how it might affect others.

Recognizing this phrase can help you identify when someone is using conversation as a platform for self-centered expression, rather than a mutual exchange of ideas and feelings.

10) “But I…”

“But I…” is perhaps the most telling phrase used by self-centered individuals. It’s a way for them to interject and redirect the conversation back to their experiences, opinions, or feelings.

This phrase is often used to interrupt others, subtly shifting the attention back to them. It’s a clear sign that they’re more interested in expressing their thoughts than listening to others.

Remember, a conversation is a two-way street. It should involve an equal exchange of ideas and feelings, not just centered around one person. Recognizing this phrase can help you identify when someone consistently makes conversations all about them.

Final thoughts: It’s about balance

The complexity of human behavior is deeply entwined with our individual experiences, upbringing, and in some cases, our inherent personality traits.

Self-centeredness, often perceived negatively, is a behavioral trait that can manifest in different forms and intensities. While it’s easy to label someone as self-centered based on their conversational habits, it’s essential to remember that change is possible.

The phrases we discussed are merely patterns that can indicate self-centered tendencies in a conversation. Recognizing them doesn’t just help in identifying self-centered individuals but also prompts us to reflect on our own communication patterns.

Are we giving others the space to express themselves? Are we active listeners or just waiting for our turn to speak?

Communication, after all, is a two-way street. It’s about exchange and understanding. It’s about balance.

So, as we navigate through conversations and relationships, let’s strive to maintain this equilibrium, fostering an environment of mutual respect and empathy. Because at the end of the day, everyone wants to be heard, understood, and valued.