10 phrases men use when they lack basic social skills, according to psychology

There’s a clear line between being socially adept and lacking basic social skills.

The distinction is all about communication. A man lacking in social skills often fails to communicate effectively, masking his true thoughts or feelings.

On the other side of it, guys who are socially savvy know how to express themselves clearly and respectfully. They’re able to navigate conversations with ease, even in tricky situations.

Psychology tells us that there are certain phrases men use when they’re not so socially skilled. And, if you listen closely, these phrases can be quite revealing.

Let’s dive into these 10 phrases men use when they lack basic social skills, according to psychology.

1) “I don’t know”

It’s common to find ourselves in situations where we’re uncertain or unsure.

However, men who lack basic social skills often overuse the phrase “I don’t know”.

Psychology suggests that this is a defense mechanism. It’s a way to avoid making a commitment, expressing an opinion, or taking responsibility. It serves as a protective layer, shielding them from potential criticism or conflict.

But here’s the catch: while it may seem like a harmless phrase, over-reliance on “I don’t know” can create a barrier in communication and relationship-building.

In healthy interactions, it’s important to voice your thoughts and feelings, even if they might be met with disagreement or disapproval.

When you hear “I don’t know” too often, it might be a sign of someone struggling with social skills. It reveals a lack of confidence in expressing their thoughts and an avoidance of potential conflict.

2) “Whatever you want”

We’ve all come across situations where we’re asked to make a decision, and our answer is “whatever you want.”

I remember a time when I used this phrase all too often. It was when I had just started dating my now-wife. Every time she asked where I wanted to eat or what movie I wanted to see, my go-to response was always “whatever you want”.

At first, it seemed like the perfect answer – it showed I was flexible, and it put her preferences first. But over time, I realized that this phrase was actually a sign of my inability to express my own wants and desires.

Constantly resorting to “whatever you want” isn’t about being easygoing or accommodating. Instead, it’s often an indication of lacking basic social skills. It shows a reluctance to express personal preferences or to engage in decision-making – both key aspects of healthy communication and interaction.

If you find yourself using “whatever you want” as your default response, it might be time to start practicing expressing your own opinions and desires.

3) “I’m just joking”

The phrase “I’m just joking” is frequently used by men who struggle with social skills. It’s a way of making light of a potentially uncomfortable situation or statement. However, this phrase can often cloak a deeper issue.

Psychology suggests that humor can be a form of deflection, especially when it’s used to mask criticism or uncomfortable truths. In fact, a study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that individuals who frequently use humor as a defense mechanism tend to have lower levels of psychological well-being.

When you hear “I’m just joking” used to brush off a potentially hurtful or contentious comment, it’s worth considering what might be going on beneath the surface. It could be a sign of someone grappling with how to communicate effectively and assertively, without resorting to veiled criticism or passive-aggressive humor.

4) “Not to sound rude, but…”

Interestingly, men who wrestle with social skills often resort to phrases like “Not to sound rude, but…” before making a statement that could potentially be offensive or impolite.

The problem with this phrase is that it does not absolve the speaker of the rudeness that follows. Instead, it signals an awareness of the potential rudeness, yet a decision to proceed anyway.

This phrase is often used as a shield against any backlash that might follow the subsequent comment. It’s a way of expressing negative thoughts or criticisms without taking full responsibility for their impact.

If you find yourself frequently using this phrase, it might be worth considering more constructive ways to share your thoughts or feedback. Being assertive and respectful in how you communicate can go a long way in improving your social skills.

5) “No offense but…”

“No offense but…” is another phrase often used by men who struggle with social skills. Much like “not to sound rude, but…”, it’s a preface usually followed by a comment that could be offensive or hurtful.

Psychology suggests that this phrase is a way of trying to soften the blow of a potentially offensive remark. The intention might not be to offend, but the result often is, because the subsequent comment is usually negative or critical.

If you’re relying on “no offense but…” to express your thoughts or feelings, it’s important to remember that the phrase doesn’t actually protect the listener from feeling offended. It’s more effective to communicate your thoughts directly and respectfully, without resorting to phrases that can come across as passive-aggressive or insincere.

6) “It’s not my fault”

When we hear the phrase “It’s not my fault,” it often evokes feelings of defensiveness and denial. This is a common phrase used by men who might not have the best social skills.

Psychology tells us that this phrase is often a knee-jerk reaction to criticism or blame. It’s a way of deflecting responsibility and avoiding the discomfort of acknowledging one’s mistakes or shortcomings.

But here’s the thing – we all make mistakes. We all have moments where we fall short or mess up. And that’s okay. It’s part of being human.

What truly matters is how we respond to these moments. Do we deflect and deny, or do we acknowledge and learn?

A key aspect of developing better social skills is learning to take responsibility for our actions and words, even when it feels uncomfortable. It’s about acknowledging our mistakes, apologizing when necessary, and striving to do better.

7) “Why does this always happen to me?”

I’ve been there, uttering the words “Why does this always happen to me?” after facing yet another setback. It seemed like a way to vent my frustration and seek empathy.

However, this phrase can sometimes be an indication of lacking social skills. Psychology suggests that such statements can signal a victim mentality – a tendency to blame external factors for one’s difficulties rather than taking responsibility for one’s actions.

Over time, I’ve learned that this phrase can push people away, as it often negates personal accountability and paints the speaker in a perpetual state of misfortune.

Instead, it’s more helpful to focus on what we can learn from our challenges and how we can grow from them. This shift in perspective not only improves our social interactions but also empowers us in our personal life.

8) “I’m fine”

“I’m fine” is one of the most commonly used phrases, yet it can often indicate a struggle with social skills, particularly when it’s used to dismiss genuine feelings or concerns.

Psychology reveals that saying “I’m fine” when you’re not can be a way of avoiding vulnerability or suppressing emotions. It might seem like the easiest route to take, but it can actually create distance and misunderstanding in relationships.

On the surface, it might seem odd to classify “I’m fine” as a phrase indicating lack of social skills. After all, aren’t we taught to be resilient and not overshare our problems?

However, being honest about how we feel and what we need from others is a crucial part of effective communication. It’s not about burdening others with our problems, but about building authentic connections based on trust and mutual understanding.

9) “It was just a joke”

“It was just a joke” is another phrase often used by men struggling with social skills. It’s usually said after a comment or action that has upset or offended someone else.

According to psychology, this phrase is often used to dismiss or downplay the impact of one’s behavior on others. It’s a way of avoiding responsibility for how one’s words or actions might have been harmful or hurtful.

However, it’s important to remember that humor can be subjective, and what one person finds funny, another might find offensive or hurtful.

Being mindful of how our words and actions affect others is a key aspect of social skills. If someone tells you they’re hurt by something you said or did, even if it was meant as a joke, it’s important to take their feelings into consideration and apologize if necessary.

If you find yourself frequently using “it was just a joke” to brush off criticism or complaints, it might be worth reflecting on your communication style and considering how you might improve it.

10) “You’re too sensitive”

The phrase “You’re too sensitive” is often used by men who struggle with social skills. It’s a way to shift the blame to the other person, suggesting that the issue isn’t with what was said or done, but with how the other person reacted to it.

Psychology tells us that this phrase can be a form of gaslighting, a manipulative tactic where a person makes someone else question their own feelings or perceptions.

The crucial thing to understand here is that everyone has a right to their feelings. If someone is hurt or upset by something you’ve said or done, it’s not your place to tell them they’re too sensitive. Instead, it’s an opportunity for understanding and empathy, for acknowledging their feelings and apologizing if necessary.

Understanding and respecting other people’s feelings and responses is an essential part of social skills and healthy communication. It’s about recognizing that your words and actions have an impact on others and taking responsibility for that impact.