10 phrases a narcissist casually uses to make you feel like less of a person

Let’s talk about the difference between assertiveness and narcissism.

Being assertive means standing up for yourself, expressing your thoughts and feelings openly, but with respect for others.

Narcissism is a different ballgame. It’s a personality trait where a person uses subtle phrases to undermine your self-worth, all while enhancing their own.

These phrases are often so casually used, you may not even realize what’s happening.

In this article, I’ll delve into 10 phrases a narcissist casually uses to make you feel like less of a person.

Let’s get started.

1) You’re too sensitive

Navigating the realm of human relationships can be complex, particularly when dealing with a narcissist.

One common tactic narcissists employ is to undermine your feelings and reactions, making you question your own reality.

Enter the phrase, “You’re too sensitive.”

This phrase is a classic tool in the narcissist’s arsenal. The aim is to make you feel guilty for having emotions, effectively shifting the blame from their actions onto your reactions.

In essence, it’s a form of gaslighting – a psychological manipulation technique where the abuser makes the victim question their own sanity or perceptions.

The intention behind this phrase is not to inspire self-reflection, but rather to belittle you and make you feel like less of a person.

2) I’m just being honest

Here’s something that happened to me once.

I was in a conversation with someone, let’s call him Mark. We were discussing an idea I had, and Mark decided to share his thoughts. His words? “I’m just being honest, your idea isn’t as great as you think it is.”

Sound familiar?

“I’m just being honest” is another phrase often used by narcissists. On the surface, it seems like they’re just offering their opinion or constructive criticism. But dig a little deeper and you’ll see it’s more about undermining your confidence and making you second-guess yourself.

It’s a cleverly disguised insult, intended to make you feel inferior under the guise of honesty. In my case, it made me question not just my idea, but my ability to come up with good ideas at all.

Honest feedback should be constructive and supportive, not demeaning and demoralizing.

3) I don’t remember that

The phrase “I don’t remember that” is a classic example of gaslighting. It’s used to deny or distort your recollection of events, leading to doubt and confusion.

But did you know our brains are actually quite susceptible to this kind of manipulation? Studies have shown that our memories are not as fixed and reliable as we may think. They can be easily influenced and altered by suggestions, especially when these suggestions come from someone we trust.

When a narcissist uses this phrase, they’re taking advantage of this vulnerability to rewrite history in their favor. By insisting they don’t remember an event, or remember it differently, they can make you question your own memory.

This isn’t just about them avoiding blame or responsibility. It’s also about establishing control and making you feel like less of a person.

4) You’re overreacting

Ah, the old “You’re overreacting” line.

Sounds harmless enough, right? But when used by a narcissist, it’s far from innocent.

This phrase is a powerful tool used to invalidate your feelings and reactions. By labeling your response as an overreaction, the narcissist shifts the focus from their behavior to your response.

Suddenly, you’re the one with the problem, not them.

What’s even worse is that it plants seeds of doubt in your mind. You start questioning whether your reactions are justified or you’re just being dramatic. This can chip away at your self-esteem over time, making you feel like less of a person.

Your feelings are valid and deserve to be acknowledged and respected. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

5) No one else thinks that

The phrase “No one else thinks that” is a classic manipulative technique used by narcissists.

It’s designed to isolate you, making you feel like your thoughts or feelings are abnormal or incorrect. By suggesting that everyone else disagrees with you, the narcissist is trying to make you doubt yourself and your judgement.

The underlying message? You’re wrong, different, and alone in your thinking.

But here’s the thing. It’s not about what others think. It’s about what you think and how you feel. It’s okay to have different opinions and perspectives.

Being on your own in your viewpoint doesn’t make you less of a person. It makes you unique.

6) I was just joking

Ever heard the phrase “I was just joking”?

It’s a common utterance that narcissists use to veil their hurtful comments. The idea is to make a demeaning or belittling remark and then play it off as a joke when you express hurt or discomfort.

This phrase can be especially damaging because it turns the situation around on you. Instead of acknowledging their hurtful behavior, the narcissist accuses you of not being able to take a joke.

What’s even more heartbreaking is that over time, this can make you feel like your feelings aren’t valid, or that you’re too sensitive.

I want to assure you that it’s okay to feel hurt and to express that hurt. You have every right to feel respected and valued. Don’t let anyone disguise their harmful words as humor.

7) If you really loved me

Once, someone close to me would often say, “If you really loved me, you’d do this for me.”

This phrase is a classic emotional manipulation technique used by narcissists. It’s a conditional statement that equates your love for them with your willingness to do what they want.

The truth is, love is not about constantly proving yourself or meeting someone else’s demands. Love is about respect, understanding, and mutual support. It shouldn’t be used as a bargaining chip or a weapon to get what one wants.

When someone uses love as leverage to make you feel like less of a person, it’s important to recognize this is not love. It’s manipulation. And you deserve better.

8) You always make things about yourself

Here’s a phrase that’s a bit tricky to navigate: “You always make things about yourself.”

It’s often used by narcissists to distract from their own self-centered behavior. By accusing you of being self-absorbed, they cleverly deflect attention away from their own actions.

Interestingly, this phrase is usually thrown at you when you’re expressing your feelings or standing up for yourself. It’s a way for the narcissist to make you feel guilty for having needs or emotions.

Having personal needs and emotions doesn’t make you self-centered. It makes you human.

9) Can’t you take a compliment?

“Can’t you take a compliment?” is another phrase narcissists often use, and it’s a sneaky one.

Narcissists use this phrase to make you feel ungrateful or rude when you reject their unsolicited or inappropriate compliments. It’s a way for them to make you feel bad about setting boundaries or challenging their behavior.

The truth is, it’s perfectly okay to reject a compliment if it makes you uncomfortable or crosses a line. Compliments should make you feel good, not uneasy.

It’s your right to establish and enforce your boundaries, even if it means rejecting a seemingly positive comment.

10) You owe me

The phrase, “You owe me”, is a powerful tool in the narcissist’s toolkit.

Narcissists use this phrase to create a sense of obligation and guilt. By insisting that you owe them, they can control your actions and decisions.

But here’s the crucial point: healthy relationships aren’t about keeping score or creating debts. They’re built on mutual respect, trust, and a genuine desire to do good for one another without expecting something in return.

You don’t owe anyone your time, your energy, or your self-worth. Hold onto that.