10 cringey phrases people with poor social skills tend to use (without realizing their impact)

Navigating social interactions isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.

Some of us, without realizing it, use phrases that can be a bit cringey and have a negative impact on our relationships.

These missteps in our conversations often stem from a lack of understanding or poor social skills.

In this article, I’ll tell you about the 10 cringey phrases people with poor social skills often use, oblivious to their effect.

Let’s get started.

1) ‘Actually…’

Social interactions are a delicate dance of respect and understanding.

However, some of us stumble with our words and unintentionally tread on our conversation partner’s toes.

One of these common missteps comes in the form of the word ‘actually’.

‘Actually’ can be used in many contexts, but when it’s used to correct someone else, it can be perceived as condescending or pompous.

For instance, if someone says, “I love the taste of red apples,” and you respond with, “Actually, green apples have a better taste,” you’ve subtly belittled their personal preference.

It’s okay to have different opinions, but framing them in an argumentative or corrective manner can come off as cringey and off-putting.

While it might seem like a small word, ‘actually’ can have a big impact on how others perceive us. It’s crucial to use it judiciously and respectfully if we want to improve our social skills.

2) ‘No offense, but…’

We’ve all been there. You’re having a conversation and someone drops the infamous, “No offense, but…” bomb.

In my own experience, I’ve found that this phrase rarely leads to a comment that isn’t offensive. It’s almost like a pre-emptive apology for the rude or insensitive remark that’s about to follow.

For instance, I remember once a friend said to me, “No offense, but you could really use a haircut.” I couldn’t help but feel slightly hurt. The ‘no offense’ disclaimer didn’t soften the blow; in fact, it did quite the opposite.

This phrase is often used as a way to express criticism or negative opinions without seeming rude. However, it usually has the opposite effect, making people feel defensive and uncomfortable.

3) ‘I’m just being honest’

The phrase “I’m just being honest” has a deceptive quality. It’s often used as a shield to justify blunt or even hurtful comments.

Did you know that according to a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, people who often use straightforward honesty as an excuse for rudeness are generally less liked and less trusted by their peers?

This phrase can turn a well-intentioned conversation sour, making it seem as though the speaker is taking pride in their lack of tact.

Honesty is undoubtedly important in communication, but it should never be used as a license to be harsh or dismissive of others’ feelings. There are always ways to express our thoughts and opinions respectfully, without resorting to phrases that can unknowingly harm our social relationships.

4) ‘Just saying’

Here’s another phrase that can turn a pleasant conversation into an awkward one – “just saying”.

It’s often tacked onto the end of a statement that the speaker knows might be controversial or offensive. The problem? It doesn’t negate the potential hurt caused by the comment.

Imagine telling someone, “Your dress is really unflattering… just saying.” It’s not going to make them feel any better about the comment, is it? In fact, it only highlights the speaker’s awareness of the potential rudeness of their statement.

The phrase “just saying” can come across as passive-aggressive and dismissive. If something needs to be said, it’s better to say it with kindness and tact, rather than hiding behind this cringey phrase.

5) ‘Whatever’

The word “whatever” can be a conversational landmine. It’s often used as a dismissive response, indicating that the speaker doesn’t care or isn’t interested in what the other person is saying.

This one-word phrase can quickly shut down open communication and leave the other person feeling unheard and unimportant. It’s a clear signal of disinterest and can be seen as rude or disrespectful.

Instead of resorting to “whatever”, it’s better to express our thoughts or disagreements in a more constructive and respectful way. After all, good conversation is all about mutual respect and understanding.

6) ‘You’re too sensitive’

This phrase can be particularly hurtful. It’s often used to dismiss someone’s feelings or reactions, suggesting that their emotional response is invalid or overblown.

When I hear “You’re too sensitive”, it feels like a punch in the gut. It’s a dismissal of my emotions, a refusal to acknowledge my perspective. It can lead to self-doubt and make one question the validity of their feelings.

In the realm of social interactions, it’s important to respect each other’s feelings and emotions. Everyone has a right to feel, and nobody should be made to feel as though their emotions are insignificant or unwarranted.

Empathy is key to meaningful connections. Let’s replace “You’re too sensitive” with “I understand how you feel” or “Tell me more about why you feel this way.” It can make a world of difference!

7) ‘Calm down’

Ah, the infamous “calm down”. It’s often used with good intentions but can have the exact opposite effect.

I recall a time when I was expressing my frustration about a difficult situation at work, and someone told me to “calm down”. Instead of helping me, it made me feel dismissed and belittled. As if my feelings were an overreaction or something that needed to be controlled.

Telling someone to “calm down” rarely deescalates a situation. It’s more likely to heighten emotions and intensify frustration, as it can be perceived as an attempt to minimize or invalidate the person’s feelings.

A more effective approach would be to acknowledge their feelings and show understanding. Phrases like “I can see you’re upset” or “I understand why you’re frustrated” can go a long way in diffusing tension and fostering better communication.

8) ‘I don’t mean to interrupt, but…’

Here’s an interesting one. “I don’t mean to interrupt, but…” is a phrase that seems polite at first glance. After all, you’re acknowledging that you’re about to interrupt, right?

The twist is, acknowledging an interruption doesn’t make it any less of an interruption. This phrase often comes across as insincere, as you’re essentially apologizing for something you’re willingly doing.

Even though it may seem like you’re being courteous by acknowledging your interruption, it can still be perceived as rude or dismissive.

Instead of using this phrase, it’s better to wait for a natural pause in the conversation before sharing your thoughts or opinions. Patience and respect for others’ speaking time can greatly improve our social interactions.

9) ‘It’s a joke’

Humor can be a great icebreaker in social situations. But when a joke is at someone else’s expense or is not received as intended, saying “It’s a joke” can exacerbate the situation.

This phrase is often used as a quick fix when a joke lands badly or hurts someone’s feelings. But rather than mending the situation, it can make the person on the receiving end feel like they’re overreacting or lacking a sense of humor.

If you find yourself needing to explain that “It’s a joke”, it might be a good idea to reconsider your humor style. Always aim for jokes that make people laugh with you, not ones that could potentially make them feel uncomfortable or disrespected.

10) ‘You always…’ or ‘You never…’

Dealing in absolutes like “You always…” or “You never…” can be a quick way to escalate a disagreement into a full-blown argument.

These phrases can feel accusatory and unfair, often leading the other person to feel defensive. They ignore the complexities of human behavior and can oversimplify a person’s actions or intentions in a negative light.

In any conversation, especially when discussing disagreements or problems, it’s important to focus on specific instances and behaviors rather than making sweeping generalizations. This promotes understanding and constructive dialogue, which are key to successful social interactions.