As an avid mindfulness enthusiast, I’ve come to realize that there are certain universal truths most of us stumble upon a tad too late in life.
Call it a part of the human condition, but it seems 99 percent of us are bound to these late revelations. Psychology backs me up on this.
Who wouldn’t want to be in that 1 percent who grasp these lessons early on? To help you join this exclusive club, I’ve distilled 8 key lessons most people learn just a bit too late.
Scanning through these, you might find yourself nodding along, or perhaps even wincing at how familiar they feel. Let’s dive right in and shine a light on these truths before it’s too late.
1. Embracing change is essential
Ever notice how we often resist change, even when it’s clearly for the better?
Well, that’s because we humans are wired to crave routine and predictability. It’s our safety blanket, a way to feel in control. But life is anything but predictable, and that’s where the rub lies.
Psychology tells us that those who embrace change are generally happier and more successful. That’s because they adapt faster and seize opportunities that others might miss in their reluctance to shake things up.
If you find yourself stuck in the comfort zone, it’s time for a rethink. Approach change as a chance to grow, rather than an unwelcome disruption. It’s a lesson many of us learn late, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
2. Failure isn’t fatal
I’ll let you in on a little secret. I have failed. Multiple times, in fact.
There was this time when I launched a mindfulness app that tanked. It was a colossal failure. I had poured my heart, soul, and savings into it, and it was a hard blow to take.
But here’s the thing: failure didn’t break me, it made me.
I learned more from that failure than any success I’ve ever had.
The point is: Don’t be scared of failure. Embrace it. It’s through mistakes that we truly learn and grow.
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And here’s another secret: everyone fails at some point. It’s just that most people don’t talk about it.
So the next time you’re faced with failure, remember it’s not the end of the road, but rather an opportunity to learn, grow and come back stronger.
As Thomas Edison famously said: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” And sometimes, that’s exactly what we need to find the one way that will.
3. Letting go of ego is liberating
Ego. It’s that little voice in our heads that constantly needs validation, recognition, and praise. It’s what makes us defensive when we’re criticized and puffed-up when we’re complimented.
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But here’s a hard truth: our ego often gets in the way of our happiness and success. It blinds us to our faults and prevents us from growing and learning.
I learned this the hard way. I used to be quite the egoist, always needing to be right, always needing to be the best. But it was exhausting and isolating.
Letting go of your ego doesn’t mean becoming a doormat or losing your self-esteem. Quite the contrary. It means recognizing your strengths and weaknesses, accepting them, and learning to be at peace with yourself.
As psychologist Albert Ellis once said: “The art of love is largely the art of persistence.” And sometimes, it’s about persistently loving ourselves without the interference of ego.
4. Mindfulness is key to a balanced life
In this fast-paced world, we often forget to live in the present moment. We’re either regretting the past or worrying about the future, missing out on the now.
Mindfulness – being fully present and engaged in the current moment – has numerous benefits, both psychological and physical. It reduces stress, improves focus and memory, enhances emotional intelligence, and even boosts our immune system.
Practicing mindfulness doesn’t require a massive lifestyle change. It can be as simple as taking a few minutes each day to focus on your breath, observe your surroundings, or savor your food.
Psychologists have found that regular mindfulness practice can rewire our brains, making us more resilient to stress and more capable of finding joy in everyday life.
5. Seeking happiness can make you unhappy
Sounds counter-intuitive, right? But hear me out.
Psychology studies have shown that the more we chase happiness, the less likely we are to find it. That’s because happiness isn’t something you can pursue; it’s a by-product of living a meaningful life.
Chasing happiness often leads us to constantly evaluate our lives and compare them to others’, which can breed dissatisfaction and stress. It’s like trying to catch a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you sit quietly and live your life authentically, it may just land on your shoulder.
Instead of pursuing happiness, focus on building strong relationships, contributing to your community, and pursuing your passions. Happiness will follow.
6. It’s okay to say no
Often, we find ourselves saying yes to things we don’t want to do, just to keep the peace or because we fear disappointing others. But every time we do that, we disregard our own needs and boundaries.
Learning to say no can be incredibly liberating. It allows us to prioritize our time and energy on things that truly matter to us. It signals respect for our own boundaries and encourages others to do the same.
However, saying no can be challenging, especially if we’re used to saying yes. Start small. Practice saying no in low-stakes situations and gradually work your way up. Remember, it’s about respecting yourself and your needs.
7. Self-compassion trumps self-criticism
There was a time when I was my own worst critic. Nothing I did was ever good enough, and every mistake was a catastrophe. It was a relentless, exhausting cycle.
Then, I discovered the power of self-compassion – treating myself with the same kindness and understanding I’d give to a friend.
It wasn’t easy to change the internal dialogue, but it made a world of difference. The self-criticism didn’t disappear overnight, but slowly, self-compassion began to take its place.
It’s about acknowledging our flaws and failures, not as something to punish ourselves for, but as part of the shared human experience.
8. You can’t control everything
Life is unpredictable, and no matter how much we plan or prepare, there are always things outside our control. The weather, traffic, other people’s actions… the list goes on.
Trying to control everything can lead to stress and anxiety. It’s like trying to hold water in your hands – the tighter you grip, the more it slips through your fingers.
Instead, focus on what you can control: your actions, your responses, your attitude. Accept that some things are beyond your reach and learn to adapt. It’s a challenging lesson to learn, but it’s crucial for our mental well-being.
As psychologist Carl R. Rogers said: “The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.” Accepting that we can’t control everything is a big part of that learning and changing process.
In conclusion: Timing is everything
The timing of when we learn life’s crucial lessons can significantly impact our journey. Some of us stumble upon these truths early on, while for others, they come a tad too late. But the beauty of life is that it’s never too late to learn, grow, and change.
Each of these lessons – embracing change, accepting failure, letting go of ego, practicing mindfulness, understanding happiness, saying no, practicing self-compassion, and accepting what we can’t control – holds the power to drastically transform your life.
Psychology isn’t just about understanding how our minds work. It’s also about applying that understanding to improve our lives. And these eight lessons are as much a part of that journey as any therapy session or self-help book.
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