10 goals in life you should always keep to yourself, according to psychology

It’s often said that sharing your goals can help you achieve them. But psychology suggests that some goals are better kept to yourself.

Why? Because not all goals are meant for public consumption. Some are private, personal, and deeply meaningful.

Sharing these goals could expose them to unnecessary scrutiny, or worse, derail your progress towards them.

Let’s get started.

1) Personal development goals

Personal growth is one area that’s often best kept private.

Why? Because these goals are deeply personal, and what works for one person may not work for another. They’re about improving aspects of yourself that you believe need work.

Sharing these goals can invite unwanted opinions and advice, which can be demotivating and derail your progress.

Further, every person’s journey to personal growth is unique. Comparisons to others can lead to unrealistic expectations and disappointment.

Consider keeping your personal development goals to yourself, focusing on your individual journey and celebrating your achievements in private.

This approach can keep you motivated and help you maintain focus on your path rather than getting distracted or discouraged by other people’s perceptions or expectations.

2) Fitness and health targets

As someone who’s tried to get into shape, I’ve learned that fitness goals are another area best kept to yourself.

In my experience, mentioning my intention to run a marathon or lose a certain amount of weight often led to unsolicited advice and constant check-ins from well-meaning friends and family.

While their intentions were good, it added unwanted pressure. It felt like I was being scrutinized for every skipped workout or indulgent meal.

Psychology suggests that this external pressure can actually hinder progress rather than help it.

Based on my experience and psychological insights, if you’re setting fitness or health goals, consider keeping them to yourself. Let your progress speak for itself rather than inviting unnecessary scrutiny and pressure from others.

3) Financial ambitions

Keeping financial goals to yourself can be beneficial for a number of reasons. One of them being, according to a study, 70% of people who win the lottery or get a big windfall go bankrupt within a few years.

This suggests that sudden wealth can attract unwanted attention and create pressure that can lead to poor decisions.

Similarly, sharing your financial ambitions can lead to unwanted scrutiny, unsolicited advice, or even resentment. It can also create pressure to achieve these goals in a certain timeframe, which can lead to risky financial behavior.

When setting financial goals, whether it’s saving a certain amount, investing, or paying off debt, consider keeping them private to maintain control over your financial situation without external influences.

4) Relationship aspirations

Your relationship goals are another area you might want to keep private.

It’s natural to have aspirations about the kind of relationship you want to have, or the kind of partner you’d like to be. But sharing these goals can invite unnecessary opinions and comparisons.

Everyone has their own idea of what a “perfect” relationship looks like, but it’s important to remember that what works for one couple may not work for another.

Moreover, relationships are complex and ever-changing. Broadcasting your aspirations can create pressure to live up to them, even when circumstances change.

5) Career objectives

Career goals can be tricky to share, especially in a professional setting.

While it’s important to communicate your ambitions to mentors and superiors to some extent, sharing your full career objectives might not always be beneficial.

For instance, if your goal is to eventually branch out and start your own business, sharing this with your current boss might lead to tension or awkwardness in the workplace.

Plus, career paths are rarely linear. As you gain experience and learn more about yourself and your industry, your goals might change.

6) Emotional growth

Emotional growth is a deeply personal journey that often involves overcoming past traumas, managing mental health, and improving emotional intelligence.

These are intimate aspects of our lives that can make us feel vulnerable when shared with others. You may not want to invite others’ opinions or judgments into this delicate area of your life.

Furthermore, emotional growth is not a race. It’s a lifelong process that varies greatly from person to person.

When setting goals for emotional growth, consider keeping them to yourself. This allows you to focus on your journey without unnecessary comparison or judgment, nurturing your emotional health in your own time and on your own terms.

7) Educational pursuits

When I decided to learn Spanish as a third language, I kept it to myself.

I knew it was going to be a challenge, and I didn’t want the additional pressure of people asking about my progress or expecting me to converse fluently within a few months.

In the end, keeping it to myself allowed me to enjoy the process without external pressure. I was able to learn at my own pace, make mistakes without fear of judgment, and celebrate milestones privately.

This personal experience, along with psychological insights, suggests that educational pursuits can be more fulfilling and less stressful when they’re kept private.

8) Acts of kindness

You might think that sharing your goals of performing acts of kindness would inspire others to do the same. However, psychology suggests it’s often better to keep such intentions to yourself.

When you share your philanthropic goals, it might inadvertently shift the focus from the act itself to the recognition you receive for doing it. This could dilute the genuine satisfaction that comes from helping others.

Keeping these goals private ensures that your acts of kindness remain pure and selfless. You’re doing good because you want to, not because you want to be seen doing good.

As paradoxical as it may seem, consider keeping your altruistic goals to yourself for a more rewarding and authentic experience.

9) Spiritual enlightenment

Spiritual goals, such as seeking inner peace or attaining a certain level of mindfulness, are another category best kept private.

These goals are deeply personal and can vary greatly from person to person, depending on their beliefs, experiences, and perspectives.

Sharing these goals can invite unsolicited advice or judgment which can distract you from your spiritual journey.

Moreover, spirituality is a personal journey that’s not meant to be compared or competed with others.

Consider keeping your spiritual goals to yourself, allowing you to explore and grow at your own pace without external influences.

10) Long-term life plans

Your long-term life plans, such as where you want to be in 10 or 20 years, are perhaps the most crucial ones to keep to yourself.

These goals are often complex and intertwined with many other aspects of your life, making them sensitive to external opinions and judgments.

Moreover, life has a way of changing when you least expect it. Sharing your long-term plans can create pressure to stick to them, even when circumstances change and different opportunities arise.

Protect these precious plans. Nurture them privately and let them evolve organically with time. This way, you’re free to adapt and grow without feeling tied down by expectations or external pressures.

 

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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